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Mary Kandalaft Fares

@marykandalaft

a year ago
Photo by Mary Kandalaft Fares on August 21, 2025.
Photo by Mary Kandalaft Fares on August 21, 2025.
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Posted On: August 21st 2025, 08:05 pm

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Lula's army inspired the world! Not just a defined group of people; they inspired the WORLD!
Black belt, Adult, middle weight bronze medalist at European Championships. This is my first major comp and to medal in a division as stacked as this, is something I’m really proud of. Happy to be sharing the mats with such high level competitors. Thank you too everybody that has supported us (especially our sponsors) we wouldn’t be here without you. @shan.fades @core.cuisine @_thegrapplingsociety @phoenixfitness_kendal @eddykaye346 @ckayebjj #ibjjf #bjj #nogi #euros #blackbelt
this week on the main feed of back from the borderline, we’re investigating our cultural obsession with understanding ourselves, and why all that psychological insight doesn’t always seem to make us any better at living. i’ve been reading The Cloud of Unknowing, a fourteenth-century mystical contemplative text, and got completely sidetracked by the introduction written in 1957 by psychologist Ira Progoff. nearly seventy years ago, he was questioning whether psychology’s pursuit of scientific legitimacy had caused it to dismiss centuries of contemplative knowledge about human consciousness. which sent me down a rabbit hole. we’re getting into the history of psychology, the rise of therapeutic culture, the commercial industry built around perpetual self-improvement, and the curious expectation that every uncomfortable emotion deserves an explanation. we’ll also explore why uncertainty feels so threatening, how self-analysis can turn into compulsive reassurance-seeking, and why knowing exactly where your emotional reactions came from doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve developed the ability to respond to them any better. somewhere along the way, we ended up with an entire culture of people who can explain their attachment styles, identify their childhood wounds, and diagnose everyone they’ve ever dated, yet still struggle to tolerate a text message that sounds slightly colder than usual. and i say this as someone who could happily spend the rest of her life reading psychology and medieval mystical texts. the episode also explores what contemplative traditions understood about the limits of intellectual knowledge, including the possibility that some of our most meaningful development takes place when we stop insisting on an explanation for everything we experience. new episode: the more you know about yourself, the less you understand drops this week on the main feed. follow back from the borderline on your favorite podcast player so you don’t miss it.
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