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8 months ago

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Posted On: March 15th 2026, 08:00 am

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this stupid fart has sent me into a broader theory about long-term relationships

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 months and, until last week, we have somehow maintained a mutual agreement of zero flatulence.

Accidents happen. I have apparently farted in my sleep. I dispute the evidence.

Then last week we were on the sofa watching Batman and this man just loudly lets one rip under the blanket, looks me dead in the eye and says:
“We’re at that stage now.”

Motion denied.

And yes, I know farting is normal and loads of couples don’t care. But I reject the idea that relationships naturally have to progress into lower standards of decorum just because you get comfortable.

People talk about “the honeymoon phase ending” like it’s weather.

Like one day it simply passes through and suddenly no one dresses up anymore, date nights disappear and you’re committing biological warfare under a shared blanket.

Nope.

We went for dinner the other night and I wore a dress and heels and he said “oh, you’ve dressed up.”

And I thought… have I? Damn.

Because this is exactly what I would’ve worn when we first started dating.

I think sometimes we stop doing things because we’ve decided we’re “past that stage”, when actually there is no governing body forcing the decline of romance.

Obviously getting comfortable is also lovely.
You get properly known.
Unfortunately being properly known also means the erosion of the version of yourself you advertised at the beginning.

(perhaps I’m not as easy-going as previously advertised??🧐)
Very developmental.

Anyway: is purposely farting beside your partner normal?

Or have we simply abandoned civilisation????

I know where I stand.

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