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Chandrahas Kotla

@chandrahaskotla

3 months ago
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Posted On: July 25th 2026, 04:02 pm
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mandy__boy_99 3 months ago

mandy__boy_99

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One of the first things you can trust an adult bully to do is attempt to turn the people connected to you against you. And they’ll usually start with the people they believe they have more relational influence over. At work, it’s the coworker who’s been there longer and starts planting seeds about you before people have a chance to know you for themselves. In families, it’s the relative who doesn’t like you and makes it their personal mission to influence how everyone else receives you. In friendships, it’s the person who quietly creates a narrative about you to ensure you’re never fully embraced by the group. The objective is often the same: EXCLUSION. And sometimes, the most uncomfortable truth is that you haven’t actually done anything to these people. Your confidence, your presence, the way you carry yourself, or even the way others naturally love and respect you can trigger insecurities they haven’t confronted within themselves. Rather than examine why your existence makes them uncomfortable, they attempt to make everyone else uncomfortable with you, too. Because if they can convince people that you’re the problem, they never have to confront the possibility that the problem is their own insecurity. And that’s what makes this form of adult bullying so manipulative. They don’t always attack you directly. Sometimes they attack your reputation, your relationships, and your opportunities to belong. They manufacture a reason to resent you because admitting they’re intimidated by you would require a level of self-awareness they haven’t developed. Pay attention to people who need an audience to justify their dislike of someone. Sometimes they’re not warning people about a problem. They’re recruiting people into their own unresolved issues.
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