Ash Mudd

Explain

Maybe one day

Someone will understand me
The way I understand the plants
The way I understand the waves
The way I understand the wind

In an unspoken language
Yet somehow
Fully understood

Like roots beneath the soil
Knowing where to reach
Without ever being told

Like the ocean
Knowing the moon
Without ever asking why

Fully accepted
Completely loved

Without condition
Fully forgiven
For past transgressions

Where neither one
Asks the other
To be loved differently

I find myself wishing
I didn’t ask for more
I wish
I wanted less
Needed less

I wish I needed nothing
To be content

Like the rain
That never asks the tree 
To prove it is thirsty

Like the earth
That accepts the fallen leaves
Without asking them
Why they had to let go

I wish I needed less
Attention
Less appreciation
Less reassurance

So I could feel wanted
Without having to ask

Loved
Without having to wonder

Sometimes I think
If I could just need less
I would hurt less

But even a forest
Does not grow alone

Roots reach for roots
Branches make room for branches
And even the strongest trees
Need the light

It’s not enough
To love myself

Not when I have chosen
To share my life
With someone else

Because loving myself
Does not mean
I no longer need to be loved

I still want to be seen

To be understood
Without having to explain

To be chosen
Without having to ask

To be held
Like a shoreline holds the sea
Never trying to keep it
Only giving it somewhere
To return to

I don’t want to be less
So someone else
Can love me more easily

I don’t want to become
A quieter version of myself
Just to make the room
More comfortable

I want to be weather
And wildness
And stillness

I want to be known
The way the wind knows the trees
By the way they bend

The way the ocean knows the shore
By everything it leaves behind

The way a seed knows
There is something waiting
For it beneath the darkness

I want to be met

Not halfway

But somewhere in the middle

Where neither of us
Has to become less
To make room
For the other

Where love is not a measure
Of how little we can need
(Finished in comments)