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Barney Blackwater

@barneyblackwater

2 months ago

Posted On: August 25th 2026, 09:42 am

Hmm I don't ever scare easily, but I'm in living room, facing the kitchen. Big bang as cpl cans flew out of the cupboard and then cpl things come out of the freezer too. Cans on the floor with cupboard door is closed and frozen items on floor with freezer door open and the fridge is open as I see the light. I'm deciding when to pick the stuff up and close the doors. Suggestions? I'm guessing right away is best lol too tired and in pain honestly try figure out the logical explanation for this.

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Emotional numbness ❔
-in progress-

A reminder of how often, in our daily lives, we are physically present but completely absent mentally.
I’m sure, we’ve all experienced these moments.

We look at the perfectly curated lives of strangers, compare ourselves to them, keep scrolling and in the process, we miss the real moment, that’s happening right before our eyes.

When was the last time you really looked at someone?
Or the last time you were fully present in the here and now?

My painting should be a wake-up call to consciously put down our screens every now and then, to reconnect with the people around us without filters, to listen to them and to choose real, imperfect life over the digital illusion.

Because at the end of the day, no screen in the world can replace the feeling of genuine human connection.

Isn’t it worth it?

#art
#thoughts
#painting
#portrait
#bettinapeterart

Something about birthdays makes me cry.

As the clock gets closer to 12 my heart races and my mind plays a showreel of everything. All the moments I miss, some regrets, all the I love yous I said and didn’t say enough, the calls I never made, little wins I forgot to celebrate, people I don’t see enough, plans lost in translation. I think of all the birthdays I’ll now spend without Dadu, how strange that life goes on without him. I miss Julie too, her snoring at night of all things. Things I never thought I’d miss. All the love I couldn’t give because I thought I had forever.

And just before the melancholia gets the better of me, mom and dad call, my sister sends me that thing I’ve wanted for so long, way beyond what she can afford. My childhood best friend reminds me of us at 17 and oh gosh how much I miss those little girls. I made new friends who showed me colours I didn’t know existed, and then there’s all of you, my extended family, who made me sob like a baby. I cherished every second.
And I think how blessed am I to be loved like this, to turn 24 with so many beautiful things to hold close, so many people to love and miss? Sometimes I spend so much time missing what was that I forget to look around and see how much there still is. And there is so, so much love, grief, joy, hope and magic in this little life. I really don’t know what I did to deserve it.

Something about birthdays makes me cry and I’d save every tear and thank God for it on my knees.

I know I’m late, but also not really. It’s not exactly about a birth-day after all. Maybe it’s when everything I’ve been too busy living to feel catches up with me. All the love received, all the love lost and all the love still left to give. I want to hold everyone closer and tell them what they mean to me, and I still don’t think it’d be enough.

This year I wished for all of you to be happy. I hope you are, I hope you’re all so, so happy. I hope you know I really truly do love you. I wish I could discover every way there is to show it, and I have a lifetime to try.

But for now, this messy, ridiculously late post is all I could come up with. I love you. So much. Thank you, for the tears and the smiles.

Barney Blackwater

@barneyblackwater

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