Bee-Dwo Lin | 林貝多

i keep calling my trips “finding myself” — fuck, why am i finding myself all the time?
but i think what i’ve actually been doing is looking for a soulmate, when really i was following the wrong script. i felt like i could only feel satisfied when i was doing something for someone i loved. i felt like i was looking for the same pattern as my mom and dad — even though that’s probably the most textbook codependency, because chances are, we’d both end up as sinking boats.
i just don’t have a clear direction of where i should go. i don’t have the strength to be happy on my own... yet.
i didn’t expect this trip to catch up with me like that. it wasn’t just the music — something overwhelming came through, something i’d left behind a long time ago.
a few things that stuck with me:
i love björk’s relationship with her assistant, james. he started out helping with research, and after ten years working with her, he’s gone on to create a lot of her masks and artwork. i love how she’s encouraged him to discover his own potential — they share a real love of art, and he’s developed his own style through constantly trying things. i’d love a relationship like that in my life.
since moving to the uk in 2015 — studying, marriage, cats, work — i haven’t traveled alone in years. it used to be something i did all the time in my 20s. i suddenly felt like this is what my soul needed: discovering things without anyone else’s opinions in the room. i also realized i don’t actually like painting from photos — i want to create from what i’ve actually experienced.
i met a björk fan from canada — we had so much to talk about, music, art, iceland, we ended up chatting for hours. i mentioned i wanted an art book from björk’s exhibition, but felt like i was already spending too much on the trip. after the rave, we had dinner, talked for hours again. i’d already booked a trip to the highlands for the following days, so i didn’t expect to see him again. but we had one evening before i left — we met for dinner one more time, and he gave me that book. i was really touched. i definitely deserve to be treated well. thank you for showing #taiwaneseartist #björk #bjorkdjset #eclipse #artistlife