The Out-of-Network Network (OONN)

Written and illustrated by Anonymous

So, there I was — a brand-new, first-time mom with my smiling, gummy-mouthed baby in my arms — when suddenly I felt a tug of pain down below. “Isn’t the painful part over?” I wondered.

I was induced on a Friday night and gave birth on Sunday at 3:00 AM. It’s jarring to be holding your beautiful baby in your arms only to look down and — OW! Wait, is that doctor pulling a needle out of me?!

I asked the doctor, “Are those stitches? Am I getting stitches right now?” They calmly replied, “Why yes, that’s what we’re doing.”

I understand the need for stitches after birth. I just don’t understand how they could stitch a conscious person up without telling them what they were going to do first.