The Amherst College Zumbyes

Who even are the Zumbyes? Why are they here? Where did they come from and where are they going? I’m not really sure, but the slides in this carousel may contain some cluez.

Rex “Rex” DeMuro has never been given an official Zumbyes nickname. Sometimes this hurts his feelings but he’s pretty much come to terms with it. Besides, it’s hard to make a nickname out of a name like Rex. It’s already short, and it doesn’t rhyme with many other words. Except for the obvious one. He is tired of the obvious one. And don’t get him started on the dinosaur thing, it’s way overplayed and everyone who meets him thinks they’re so clever but really he’s heard it a million times. Enough already.

But for real, he’s ok without a snappy little nickname. It’s not like he’s particularly special or anything. He’s a pretty normal guy who just happens to be from Bar Harbor, Maine and lives practically in a national park. Boring. He’s just the first and only person to surf every chair in the Moore 2nd floor common room, nothing interesting there. And personality-wise he’s pretty bland. He’s in Gad’s which makes him officially the funniest Zumbye literally ever, but like, who cares?
So no, he doesn’t need a nickname. He doesn’t deserve one. It’s fine. It’s really ok. He understands.
No he’s not crying, you’re crying.

Paige is currently writing this bio while at death’s door from the flu, a bold act of devotion that should definitively prove her undying love for the Zumbyes. Though she possesses a multitude of talents, one shines brightly above the rest: her ability to produce a perfectly tuned G on command. Just the G. Only the G. If you ask her for an A-flat or, God forbid, a C-sharp, she will vanish into the night.

Hailing from the small and mighty town of Dover, MA (a Bostonian by radius if not by technical zoning), Paige did not grow up singing. In fact, she avoided it like the plague, even opting out of her middle school choir to sit silently in self-directed study instead. Her downfall came years later when Paige unfortunately auditioned and got a role in a musical. Thus began her grand, irrevocable descent into musical theater and singing. But rest assured: Paige is not a theatre k