The other is trying to feel heard. And somewhere in the back and forth, empathy gets lost. 💬 Does this pattern feel familiar?
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8 days agoisaacjl02
BSCJ, 9 years and counting active LEO, I just finished my BSW, and working on my MSW. Became a Police Officer to help others, went back to school to help others in ways I can't as a Police Officer. I find it so easy talking to others, and helping others but can't help myself. Change is hard, but I'm working on it.
8 days agorelational.studio
Honestly, the first thing is noticing I am not listening at all yet. If I am already building my defense, I pause and name that to myself. I am protecting something, not hearing someone. Getting curious about what feels threatened usually lets me actually hear them again instead of just the argument.
9 days agoricci.harvey
Since becoming a first responder myself, ive noticed ive become more of a fixer, but i slso find myself in different relationships on the side of just trying to have the conversation in the first place ehile the other person feels like were talking in circles. This makes me feel so seen.
9 days agorelational.studio
The courtroom frame is so accurate. Once it becomes a trial, both people are arguing their case and nobody is listening. The moment one person stops defending and starts trying to understand, the whole temperature of the conversation changes.
10 days agoleemarielyn
Firefighter paramedic wife from Atlantic Canada 🇨🇦 👋! Great post! Always looking for ways to learn from others of how we can thrive vs. just survive. Thank you 🫂
11 days agoits_pattycakes
It’s tough. I’m ex police, husband is still in. There are so many layers. Yes, definitely a defensiveness but also, long term suppression of things, lack of communication (because we just push shit down & get on with it, right?), it festers, it bubbles over… then we go nuclear. Suddenly all the things we’ve wanted to say come out when in hindsight, could have been dealt with. I’m certainly working on that. It is definitely a double edged sword for so many reasons.
12 days agofabrizioprovolone
I’m guilty of this and it’s so very hard to change. Just hope my partner knows that I’m constantly trying to do better for them, cause they deserve the very best from me
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