hannah kaps

I was challenged this year in countless ways. I’ll spare you the details, but I will offer you this: sometimes, the lessons we ask for arrive in ways we never would have chosen for ourselves.

I have always been a helper. The eldest daughter in a family of seven, caregiving didn’t exactly come easy, but it came! And it never stopped. And for that, I am so thankful. This year reminded me just how much of my life has been shaped by caring for others. There is a certain kind of beauty in being able to show up for people when they need you most. To be present in their hardest moments is a privilege I will never take for granted.

But I am also learning that being strong doesn’t mean I have to carry everything alone. Perhaps grace is not just about how I show up for others, but how I allow others to show up for me. And perhaps trust means believing that I, too, can be held. My parents, who have worked hard my entire life to provide for our family, and my partner, who has been my own shoulder to cry on, remind me that strength is not something we have to manufacture all by ourselves. Sometimes, it is something we inherit. Sometimes, it is something we borrow from the people who love us. And sometimes, it is simply knowing that we don’t have to be strong every second of every day.

As I step into 26, I want to trust the voice within me, practice grace by pausing before I react, and remember that not every uncertainty needs an immediate answer. I want to keep showing up for the people I love while remembering that I deserve that same love and care in return. Above all, I want to trust that I am exactly where I need to be, even when I don’t understand why. God is at work in the quiet moments and the difficult ones, in the plans that unfold and the ones that fall apart. I may still be quick to worry and quick to question, but I am learning that I don’t need to have it all figured out.

Perhaps that is what 25 was trying to teach me all along: to trust the path, to walk it with grace, and to remember that I was never meant to walk it alone.

Cheers to 26! 🥂