ASHLEY MARTINEZ | Mompreneur

Some days, I’m not looking for a lesson in what I’ve survived. I just want someone to acknowledge how much I never deserved to go through.

In such a short amount of time, my life has changed in ways I never could have prepared for. Being pregnant, suffering a stroke, trying to recover while growing a baby, and now finding myself back in the hospital facing another serious complication. It feels like every time I try to catch my breath, something else happens.

I’m trying to heal physically, mentally, and emotionally while still being a mother, still carrying a baby, and still trying to make sense of everything that’s happening to me.

And the truth is, I’m tired.

Not just physically tired, but tired in a way that sleep cannot fix. Tired of being strong when I never asked to be this strong. Tired of having to process things that have changed me forever. Tired of trying to find the positive in situations that have genuinely hurt me.

I know healing takes time. I know I have so much to be grateful for. And I know God has carried me through moments I didn’t know how I would survive. But faith doesn’t mean I never feel broken. Gratitude doesn’t mean I don’t grieve. And surviving something doesn’t mean I have to pretend it didn’t hurt.

Sometimes, I don’t need a silver lining. I don’t need another reminder of how resilient I am. I just need room to be human, to feel the weight of what I’ve been through, and to admit that none of this has been easy.

I’m still here. I’m still fighting. But I’m allowed to be hurting, too.

Not every part of my healing will look like strength. Some days, it will simply look like me trying to get through the day. And right now, that has to be enough.