Keilani

I feel like no one talks about the divide between the process of a painting and real life and how you can experience a painting come to life, while still experiencing the one that’s happening in front of you. Painting for me stops time as I can tune out everything’s that’s happening currently and focus on just one moment or feeling. It took me about 3 weeks to put my feelings and the things I can’t put into words into something to be seen. In this painting, I tried to capture what it feels like to be perceived in a fetishized, sexualized way while the enigma of who I am remains ignored. Taking breaks inbetween this painting just made me even more motivated to finish it because it made me sad to look at. While being in the process of finishing this painting, seeing cool DJs, hanging with friends and family, and going grocery shopping felt off because I knew I had to finish this painting in order to shake this feeling off of my chest. Now that it’s finished, I feel as if I can finally breathe since what I’ve been going thru is finally expressed, now I can close the book.