Genie ☆

✨I think I just have to get on with it and spit it out:
I’m terrified of this brand new journey because I’m my own worst enemy.
I tried to faff around online a few times only to archive or delete everything (it would be a testament of my public embarrassment to keep my failures up).

I know exactly what I need to do. It’s like a sixth sense, that’s impossible to verbalise coherently. I’ve obsessively absorbed knowledge left and right and yet none of it made me actually act on what I needed to act on.

I don’t really have fear of visibility as I’ve been on stage more times than I can count and honestly, idgaf about people’s opinion about irrelevant things, such as me posting my face on Zuccerberg’s internet.
I’m bothered that I’m questioning my capabilities to deliver what I expect from myself and all the sick shit I have to say after finalising a small episode of 15 years of sewercidal depression. I feel like I have to shred the old me that’s too scared to talk and post anything AND I’M FEELING IT OK.

But I also know that the life I want is behind doing the scary thing. I need to let all this swag to be recorded SOMEWHERE for the day I become President of the World.

So cheers to me trying and failing again. While scared shitless.

#fyp #philosophy #psychology