Adorkable Alice

I’ve been missing my old friends from 15 years ago.
It’s strange to me!
Because I moved away from France and the toxic culture there (which is just a variant of the same toxic culture everywhere) and I discovered like minded people in Berlin and different communities and my life improved a lot. I felt better understood and I could finally kinda fit in.

And my current friends are overall better human beings I’d say, more caring, less judgmental, probably smarter too, creative… they’re great! But I don’t see them so much, with a couple exceptions they’re relatively recent friends, and I don’t feel super close either. I don’t have close friends whom I tell everything.

And my old friends from high school they weren’t always very healthy to be around (alcoholism was everywhere) and they weren’t maybe super open minded, but because we partied so much together and we were hanging out every week we were close! Even if we didn’t have super deep emotional talks, even if we were drinking each time we were seeing each other. There was a closeness that I don’t have with my current friends. And that makes me sad.

I also feel sad because while my new friends are great humans, I somehow don’t necessarily feel like I want to be much closer than we are. And I don’t really understand that part.
I’d like a couple very close friends, not many more maybe 4 max that I do see regularly and who know everything about my life and who share things with me. But most people don’t do SW or own a Sanctuary! The problematics I’m dealing with are not common and I don’t feel very understood on that level by almost anyone.

Adulthood is hard!

Do you also feel like finding the perfect friends is super hard?

(The pics are a kaki tree covered by a chuchu plant, chuchus and grapes all under that tree)