Sarah Campos

I was so deep in my own pain that I didn’t realize how much I was pulling away from the children who were still right in front of me. They were grieving too, and I was just trying to get through the day. Times where I was so distracted by the pain of missing him I couldn’t see what was in front of me. Hearing my baby say mama look at me, and feeling nothing or unwilling. Almost as if I were present but my mind and heart were elsewhere.

Missing those precious moments, the ones I can’t get back. I don’t punish myself for those anymore. I take them as lessons learned. I give myself grace. It’s not perfection here, it’s progress. Grief is hard. Feelings are real. Life demands. Showing up. All the things.

What helped was inviting them into moments of connection instead of withdrawing. Not big moments, just letting them sit next to me and know I was still their mom.

Today it’s different. I lean into the grief. I join them in theirs. We talk about him. I say I’m sad, I hear them when they’re sad. We talk it through by saying his name.

There’s a whole chapter on this in Staying, “Parenting the Children Who Are Still Here,” with journal prompts for figuring out how you want to show up for them while you’re carrying your own grief.

If you’re ready to give yourself permission to live and learn how to function after loss, comment STAY and I will show you exactly how I do it every day. 💙