Mass of Man

Exposure therapy has to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life.

I’m only three weeks into this journey, and I’m already starting to see real results, but that doesn’t mean it’s getting any easier.

For those who don’t understand OCD or exposure therapy, imagine purposely putting yourself in situations that trigger extreme anxiety and panic, then forcing yourself to sit with that discomfort without doing the compulsions that would normally give you relief.

That’s basically what I’m doing every single day.

Some of the methods might sound absolutely outlandish to someone who doesn’t understand the disorder, but there’s a reason behind all of it. I’m literally training my brain to stop responding to fear the way it has for so long.

And it’s absolutely exhausting.

I come home mentally drained, stressed, and overwhelmed. There are days I genuinely just want to break down and cry. I’m putting myself through some of my biggest fears on purpose, knowing how uncomfortable it’s going to make me.

But I keep showing up.

I still get out of bed. I still go to therapy. I still go to the gym. I still push myself to become a better version of who I was yesterday.

I’m not going to pretend I’m okay every single day, because I’m not. I’m struggling. I’m suffering. And some days I’m just trying to make it through.

But for the first time in a long time, I’m starting to see that all this discomfort might actually lead me to the peace I’ve been searching for.

I’ve spent so much time working on changing my body. Now I’m putting that same dedication into changing my mental health and improving my entire life.

One day at a time. ❤️

I’m exhausted, but I’m not giving up.