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111 Collective

@111collective

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Music and fine art events in honour of Michael Nash. #111collective #PNH #aplasticanemia 🧡🧡🧡

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Can we talk about last night 💥

Hundreds of DJ’s later and over 40 years of dancing @yousukeyukimatsu was a joy!

We danced hard, sometimes when you think the mix won’t work, timing, wild choice of tune, EQing, mixing in key is off, it did! Loved it! By far one of the most exhilarating DJ’s to watch (hence my rare videoing in a club, which does not do the night justice). He moves wildly himself at times, fucking hell, we all had so much fun!!

Thank you @yousukeyukimatsu for restoring my excitement in the ‘art’of DJing. Reminding me why I do what I do! My therapy may be complete 🧡

My body aches today and it feels good for it! 🙏🏻🧡🧡🧡

#ifyouknowyouknow😉 by @111collective

I am not going to sugar coat this, today is horrible, nobody wants a day that is a reminder of when their child dies.

9 years on and I still feel the trauma of this day/days we endured!

I don’t do well on this day, none of us do!

So, I went for a beautiful walk in Bushy Park. The Robin sung for us, the Woodpecker did his thing! The Deers were calm and in their community.

I have faith in the realness of nature. The fragility is a reminder that life is complex and has to be accepted as so!

I love the bones of my boy and today the sadness is deep and the pain sharp.

Tomorrow will come though and we will keep him in our hearts and mind, but start this year with love and gratitude for all that we had and still have 🙏🏻🧡🧡🧡

“‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” As Tennyson wrote about his young friend who died. I couldn’t agree more xx by @111collective

Happy Birthday Michael, a life worth living indeed! We miss you more as each year passes 😔 life is just not the same 🙏🏻

You made every minute count! You were inspirational with your lust for life and spirit. We will try and make you as proud as we can, always 🧡🧡🧡
#bekind #lifelive #111

Forgive the shoddy edit and not great quality, but I wanted to share and remind people to make the most of their life. Love, laugh and look after your health xx

He loved, he laughed, he travelled, he sat for hours in the studio, he made the most of 28 years. So proud to be called his mummy 🥰 by @111collective

Today is 11:11 day! Sending love to you all from this beautiful Southern most tip of the world, where the pace has slowed and there is time for reflection amongst nature at its finest 🧡

Survivors guilt:
A psychological response to a traumatic event where someone survives while others do not.

I have suffered from this since I was 8. It begun the day my mum died! I didn’t realise this for many years to come, but explained so much once I fully understood it. She was killed in our house that day!
I was angry for years, wishing she had let me stay at home. To protect her; rather it had been me; maybe it wouldn’t have happened, the list endless of why I felt so much guilt for surviving and not her. The low self esteem I still struggle with, probably has its roots from that day. My
desire to protect my own with such passion now. People pleasing to ensure that a person likes me, in case that is their last thought of me! I know after years of therapy (I say that proudly) that these are all natural thoughts and feeling after such a tragic loss of a mother, as a child. I can rationalise now as an adult.

With many lessons learnt when Michael died, I needed to rewrite that narrative in order to cope, to review how I push past that guilt again. So, I chose to live a life with him in mind and heart! To travel and do things, not with guilt, but with eyes and a heart and soul FOR him! Be grateful for the opportunity’s around me. It isn’t always easy, my heart often heavy, as I have so much love to share with him and can’t!

So on 11:11 day, I am here by lakes (water to calm the soul), the mountains (to energise the spirit), surrounded by animals and birds to remind me of nature at its finest. I hasten to add, there is a fierce mumma bird in the garden here, protecting her babies - I feel ya mumma 🥰 they are worth it 🧡

As always thank you for reading!
Life may be mundane at times, but find what little joy you can, some time in the day! Be kind to yourself and others and please try not to sweat the small stuff 🧡🧡🧡

Life isn’t easy after your loved one dies and feeling guilty is not what they would want. Live life for them and for you 🧡 by @111collective

Happy birthday to the youngest in our pack! 🧡🧡🧡

I hope you caused chaos last night darling and had the best fun being celebrated by those that love you sooo much! You deserve all the love for you are a beautiful young woman inside and out 😍🥰💃🏼 by @111collective

Happy birthday to our beautiful, kind and loving Lexi 🧡 wishing the best day today as we celebrate you in more ways than one 👰🏼💒🥳🎁🎂

Today is your day and I am full of admiration for you and all you are, love you kiddo 🥰 by @111collective

This life in the pictures, seems at times, intangible. That is the wickedness of grief, especially after 8 years.

I miss this sweet natured soul, who brought me so much joy. I miss his smile, his voice, his bear hugs! All of it!

Thank you to all who kept me anchored these past few days. Your love and support makes the difference. I couldn’t manage without you tbh! That’s the truth of it 🥺

🙏🏻🧡✨ by @111collective

Today on my walk I saw these trees and their visible roots and it got me thinking….bear with me, I and many others I know, would appreciate it if you read on and maybe even shared🧡

This, for me, is the perfect visualisation of a person who has suffered trauma.

Despite still growing leaves and seemingly healthy, the exposed roots spoke volumes to me.

Although the roots are keeping the tree steady, giving it enough nutrients to keep the tree alive, they are not covered and therefore not fully protected by the enriched soil below. Instead they are vulnerable to all the elements.

For those who have suffered any trauma will understand this, I think. We may function day to day but the exposed roots represent our traumas and triggers, which when left unprotected, make us more vulnerable and so the cycle continues.

Then there are those big gaps between those unfilled roots. People with trauma often fill those gaping holes with things that don’t help - such as alcohol, drugs, bad relationships etc., believing they will help cover those exposed roots, but instead they numb and desensitise. They do not nourish and so this short term solution ultimately makes the exposed roots more brittle and gnarly. And as they erode what strength is left, it makes the gaps bigger thereby having the adverse affect.

The only thing that will really help fill those gaps is tender loving care, from ourselves and others who are kind and thoughtful. Like a gardener tending to their garden. When planting a new tree they will pack the soil in over the exposed roots and check back, if there has been a storm, to make sure their tree or seedling is still in place.

Not all of us are lucky enough to have our roots buried beneath the protective, enriched soil or have someone to check back, if a storm occurs. So, please think of this and be kind to each other. Love and respect one another’s exposed roots. Tread lightly around them in order to enable the soft top soil to gently fill in those gaps.

I hope this makes sense.

Bit random I know for a Monday night, but it was on my mind and thought I would share 🙏🏻🧡

Thinking of you Sam 🌟 by @111collective

A sad farewell to our faithful companion, Baby dog Lola.

I never imagined when we took her home that our dear beige butter bean Buddha would have such a profound effect on our family. I met her in unusual circumstances where she presented herself to me by ‘pomping’ (I chose that word deliberately) herself in front of me and changed my life immeasurably. Not taken by the original family, it was clear from the start that she was meant to be with us and us with her and what a journey we have had, side by side.

I have learnt so much from this resilient creature, stoic, full of love and compassion, even if a bit stubborn and sulky at times (not sure who she reminds me of!). She sat beside me in my darkest moments, quietly (apart from when she snored!) and patiently waited for the fog to clear.

A calming intuitive dog, who steered us all.

She will never be forgotten or under estimated for her impact on us and Buddy (of course), who is the least chihuahua-like dog people have ever met, as he learnt the ways of the ‘yoda’.

Thank you sweet Lola, you were a blessing in disguise and are leaving us as better, stronger people after our time with you. Your job is done xx 🧡🌟 by @111collective

Project 6 by @111collective

7 years two long..

Peace and Love 🧡 by @111collective

With Christmas time nearly upon us, sending best wishes to everyone, especially those whose lives do not match the marketing dream!

Looking back on this pic, taken in Australia with Mike and his gang, is a reminder that family, for some people, are your chosen ones. For some blood family bring complication and a stark reminder of the things we didn’t appreciate in our childhood.

So, for all our 111 family and beyond we send love and wish you well 🧡🧡🧡

And don’t forget how awesome you are 🙌🏻

🎄⛄️🧡 by @111collective