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Idelette | Sovereignty Coach for Women

@_idelette_

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Is there MORE? Yessss. That dream/idea/vision not going away? I see you. 20+ years of helping badass women launch. It’s your turn. 👉🏻 Idelette.com

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Never apologize for the way you burn, writes Emory Hall.

It started with an idea. No, it started with a bunch of my university friends going to AfrikaBurn last year and I happened to be in South Africa at the time. I joined them for the final weekend. What is this thing? Will I even like it?

Short answer: I liked it.

But I couldn’t go to AfrikaBurn this year and I felt slightly bummed. Then I began noticing how many of the podcasts I listen to these days, and people I follow on Instagram mentioned @burningman. Then, on a cold night in January, alone in my bed, the author I was reading at the time again mentioned BurningMan.
An idea came to me: what if I wasn’t meant to go to AfrikaBurn this year, because I’m supposed to go to the OG?

I shared my idea with a friend who’d been 3 times. I saw the hesitation.

First, you need tickets, he said.

But when an idea comes to me like that, I pay attention.

And when the time came to buy tickets, we had seven screens open and we bought two tickets to BurningMan 2026.

It still didn’t mean I was going. I had NO. IDEA about the logistics involved. The preparation. The planning.

But again, in July-ish, when my other plans fell through, I thought: Perhaps I am supposed to go to BurningMan.

Again, I was given a very sobering idea of what all this would entail.

And still, inside me, it just felt like a very big YES.

And so, a beautiful journey began.

There were spreadsheets.
A cargo van.
Two bicycles.
15 storage bins
One labeled BM clothes, another BM accessories, and another BM shoes. I also had a bin for my coats, because as it turned out, my closet has been waiting my whole life for this opportunity to dress up all week.

I drove through one province and four states and on Saturday, Aug. 30, in the midst of a dust storm, we arrived at the gates.

“Welcome home,” they said.

This is the refrain: Welcome home.

I don’t know if it’s the extreme conditions, or the sense of gentleness, and Love that all create this container.

I felt permission to just play.
Wear whatever I felt like wearing.
Ride my bike.
See the art.
Dance.
Connect with beautiful souls.
Just be.

(Post continues in the captions.)

Who woul by @_idelette_

Hello from Cannon Beach.

After watching Twilight with my girls so many years ago, I’ve always wanted to come to Haystack Rock.

Now, here I am.

Here for joy.
Wind in my hair.
A new chapter.
Adventure.
And being my wildly alive Self. by @_idelette_

NEW POEM: To Be Seen

Last night, I downloaded the book “Dear Artist” by @jaiyajohn. It’s beautiful! He asked 3 questions that opened up a new door for me:

1. Where in your body do you perceive the sunrise?
2. The sunset?
3. And, where in your body do you remember your first kiss?

My task is to remember to create from that place. Not from my mind, not from performance, not even from “trying” … but from my heart.

The poem I share in this reel, To Be Seen, emerged from that place.

Being seen isn’t about being noticed, as much as it is about but allowing someone else to take you in. To receive you.

It feels vulnerable.
Even intimate.

Simply allowing yourself to be met.

I’m curious:

👉🏻When was the last time you felt seen?
👉🏻Where do you perceive the sunrise/ sunset in your body?
👉🏻Where in your body do you remember your first kiss?

Let me know in the comments or in my DMs. I’d love to hear!

#ToBeSeen #SoulWork #CreativePractice #FindYourInnerLioness #visibilitydiaries by @_idelette_

When we’re strong + smart women, most of the time we show the world only the good, the positive. We show our strengths. But today ended up being a pretty tough day.

Of course it’s never only crappy. I had a beautiful time with a daughter. A chat with precious people in my life. Even had my first bus ride in Vancouver!

And … this is how it ended.

That’s it. No silver bow.

And the only reason I am posting this, is because this is also my life. I am a strong woman. And I’ve noticed how often I hold back on my truth and how it sits on my throat.

This, too, is visibility.

Not the kind I want. But the kind that is real.

Visibility Diaries Day 4.

#fullyalive #showingup #growth #womensupportingwomen by @_idelette_

I used to spend a lot of energy trying to figure out what to say, what to do, or even who I’m supposed to be.

This past year has stretched me in ways I never expected. There have been moments when I’ve questioned so much.

Then a friend said something so simple:
“Just be your beautiful self.”

Those words softened me.
My shoulders dropped.
I felt a really big exhale.

Maybe that’s a reminder we all need.

We don’t have to earn our worth.
We don’t have to perform our way into belonging.
We don’t have to become someone else to be loved.

Just be your beautiful self.

I’m learning that maybe that’s enough.
It’s always been enough. 🩷

I’d love to know:
👉🏻What helps you come home to yourself?
👉🏻Are there words or wisdom you hold on to during times of change?

VISIBILITY DIARIES DAY 3.

#fullyalive #showingup #wisdom #divinefeminine womeninspiringwomen by @_idelette_

VISIBILITY DIARIES DAY 2. What’s harder than showing up once?

Showing up again.
And again.
And again.

I realized, for me, consistency isn’t a discipline problem.

It’s a visibility wound.

The little girl inside me once learned that attention had to be earned. Being seen wasn’t automatic. And then when I was, I was either “too much” or “not enough.”

Underneath all of that was one question:

Is it safe to be seen?

For so many women, staying quiet, staying small, staying invisible isn’t weakness; it’s been wisdom. Protection.

Here’s what I’ve learned:
The world isn’t always a safe place. But I can become a safe place for me.

Healing is becoming a safe place for ourselves.

I’d love to know …

👉🏻 Does being visible feel safe in your body?
👉🏻 What helps you return to yourself when you feel that hesitation to show up as your whole Self?

I’d love to hear. 🩷

#showingup #speakup #healing #fullyalive #visibility by @_idelette_

What do you KNOW?

A friend asked me this question today, and when I let it drop into me, there was a deep knowing that became clear:

My biggest fear right now is becoming visible.

Not when I’m supporting others.
Not when I’m leading for someone else.
But when I stand in my own voice … as me.

Our fears often point us to the exact doorway we’re meant to walk through.

I’ve been thinking a lot about being brave lately, and how our brave steps lead us into a more awakened and alive life.

Every brave leap expands us.
Every brave leap reminds us that we’re capable of more than we imagined.
Every brave leap brings us closer to our most alive life.

So today, this reel is my brave leap.

And now I’d love to ask you the same question:

👉🏻What do you know?
👉🏻Where is life asking you to be brave?
👉🏻What fear might actually be an invitation into your next chapter?

Share in the comments or send me a DM. I’d love for us to walk this journey together.

Let’s be brave together. by @_idelette_

FOR THE ONES IN NEED OF A NEW DAY. I was picked up at 6am from the hotel to start the long, tricky drive to the Roberts International Airport in Liberia. I’d spent the last two weeks here as part of a multi-national medical mission with @korle.bu + the Swedish-African Neurosurgical Collaboration (SANC) + a US team with Helping Those in Need.

36 team members
10 neurosurgeons
Anesthesiologists + Nurse anesthetists
So many wonderful nurses
An occupational therapist,
One physical therapist

Over 550 patients pre-screened
Over 3,000 photos and videos on my phone telling a story of two weeks of hope, despair, joy, fatigue, struggle, and so much more.

A story of change, slowly.
A story of a country coming out civil war and Ebola.
A story of a sun slowly rising …

When I landed two weeks ago—my third time in Liberia—I had a wound on my right heel. A blister that just wouldn’t heal. I spent a day with fever and chills and was told I nearly went septic. For two weeks I wore Birkenstocks everywhere.

Texting with a friend last week, when she asked me how I’m doing, I told her,
I’m finding my feet.

In that moment, I realized my heel was about more than a blister. It’s about me feeling vulnerable in a world in which I need to find my own two feet. In which I am learning to stand on my own two feet.

It wasn’t just a wound on my heel. It was a wound telling a story of a woman finding her own two feet in the world.

Yesterday morning, driving to the airport, the sun was rising ahead of us.

A new day, I thought.

A new day, and I am going to be ok.

Wherever you are on your journey, may the sun rise to meet you too—in that dream you’ve been carrying, in that new business venture, in the quiet working behind the scenes, in the way you love and serve others, in the coming out of grief … whatever the long night has been for you, may the sun rise to meet you. by @_idelette_

EXPANSION. These past few months I learned that I can both walk through fire and hold on to Love. I learned that I am stronger than I could have even imagined.

I am also softer.

I’ve had to face my biggest fears. And I am reminded, again and again, to transmute fear into Love.

These past few months I interviewed some of the most inspiring individuals—a doctor who built a hospital brick by brick in Techiman, Ghana. A neurosurgeon who sewed clothes to put himself through medical school. A Liberian businessman who ran for president and sweeps the floor of his church on Saturdays.

I was surrounded by stories and I fell in love again and again with humanity.

I felt the expansion in my own heart. I also felt its weight.

One afternoon, I huddled around a hospital bed with a woman in Liberia who was about to receive back surgery. She told me about the years she had to walk to the market with her products on her head and how she now struggled with crippling back pain. I thought about how often we romanticize that idea of women carrying all that weight on their heads.

Her story brought me to tears. Something about these ideas we have about each other and how strong we are … but how we were never really meant to carry these loads. We just do it, because we can and there are seemingly no other options.

I don’t want any woman in our world to carry a load that will produce excruciating pain. I long for a lightness, more ease, more joy, more aliveness for each and every one of us.

That woman received back surgery and her pain was eased, for now. She was also surrounded by a community of women around her bedside. I was reminded how living our most beautiful, alive life is so unique to each one of us on this earth.

Personally, I need:
👉🏻 adventure
💃🏼 play
🖊️ meaningful work
🌎 connection & community
😇 pleasure
💪🏻 agency
💡 clarity
🩷 Love

AND YOU?
What do you need to feel most alive? I’d love to hear.

As we walk through these days, may we keep mirroring and magnifying each other’s light.

[All images from my recent trip to Liberia, Ghana, Ethiopia and South Africa.] by @_idelette_

Found my wings in Jo’burg. One of those moments when I walked past, saw the wings, wanted to stop, but didn’t.

I had all the reasons not to. I had all my bags. I had a flight to catch. The inner voice that said, Do the “responsible” things first.

I’ll come back, I thought. But 100 meters on my way to the check-in counter, I realized: I need to either turn back and do the thing or I won’t. I also knew I’d be disappointed later if I didn’t do it.

Just one of those tiny little decisions we make every day to either choose joy or not.

Choosing the burst of Life.
Tasting the goodness.
Celebrating the creativity of someone who made those wings.

It was 7am in Johannesburg. I should have maybe looked in the mirror. But, o well. This is me at 7am on my way to Accra, Ghana.

Wishing you beautiful travels through your day, wherever you find yourself in this world today. And may you stop where you notice a little burst of Life. by @_idelette_

TW: Maternal mortality. Rejection // Yesterday, in the gym, I was doing a squat holding a dumbbell when I noticed, again, how I was bracing—how tight I was in my hips.

My hips have been telling me stories. They have been speaking of pain that is older than me. They have been inviting me to pay attention.

I noticed how much I have been bracing myself:
👉🏻 bracing against the pain that might come
👉🏻 bracing against getting hurt
👉🏻 bracing against being rejected.

My mom’s mother died while giving birth to her. We carry both life and death in our coming into this world. My mom was welcomed into the world, while her mother left the earth.

They say we carry unprocessed emotion in our hips.

I have carried a lineage of trauma that, with birth, comes death; that it is not safe to give birth, to create, to bring newness into the world.

My body has been holding on, waiting to feel safe to release.

My body had learned: When I stay tight, I stay safe. When I am not too much–not releasing too much of myself into the world—I stay safe.

The arms of the mother were absent.

Did it feel like rejection? Yes.

It said, Don’t ask for too much. Don’t be too much. You belong, but only at the edges. You belong, but you are not at the center of the story. Know your place. Your life brought death.

So, we moved to the edges of belonging, rejecting ourselves, for how could we not punish ourselves? Did we not cause this death? We deserved only the edges of belonging. We dared not ask for more. We rejected ourselves. Punished ourselves for the birth story that also became a death story.

Now my hips are saying, Enough. It’s time to write a new story. It’s time to write a story of creation.

👉🏻Hips as a gateway to new life.
👉🏻Hips as a portal to receive pleasure.
👉🏻Hips as a bridge between the body and the world.

I stood with that dumbbell in my hands and, as I became conscious of the tightness, I allowed myself to release. I felt the earth holding me. I felt my hips soften, my core soften, my body soften, my legs holding me.

I am safe to release.

I let go.

Nothing in me is unworthy of love.
Nothing in me is too dangerous to share.

#motherwound by @_idelette_

If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. —Lao Tzu

I finally got to step into the world that is @babylonstoren in Simondium, South Africa.

Time stood still.

Neuroscience tells us that awe slows down our perception of time.

I stood, witnessed, tasted, experienced in my whole body a feast of the senses. In this place, it felt like my worlds came together.

So. Many. Worlds.

Shopping at @anthropologie in Vancouver.
Walking through the streets of Austin, Texas with @teenbug
Standing in the lavender fields in Provence, France.
Food in some of the best restaurants in the world.
Climbing the hills of Matara in Burundi.
Growing up in Paarl.

My ma se kombuis.
My pa se tuin.
My ouma se vyeboom.
Marchand se donkies.
Kanada se kalkoene.
My kinders se stemme.

It felt like a culmination. Like the spiral that is my life brought me right back, a few kilometers from the home where I grew up.

I breathed deeply. Smelled the roses like they once did outside my childhood window. The fragrance I fell asleep to on those hot Paarl summer nights.
Khoi fish in the pond, like at my friend @neritia’s house.
Kumquats.
Blood oranges.
Heirloom tomatoes.

I felt awake.
Alive.
In awe.

It felt like the storms of the past months went quiet—not only around me, but within me.

I know this sun.
I know this place.

I also don’t know this place anymore. She has become so much more than I could have dreamed or imagined.

I am so happy to see her like this—thriving. I want her thriving. Her most beautiful thriving. I want joy to burst forth from her—not only here in this place, but everywhere. I can see how it is possible.

I am also ready to allow this life—and this place—to surprise and delight me in new ways.

Time stood still. And a soft, slow happiness began to rise. by @_idelette_