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Allison LaTona, MFT

@allisonlatonamft

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«Psychotherapist | Parenting & Child Development Specialist »
🌱 Passionate for growth in relationship
🦋Navigating the journey of parenthood

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Today I give thanks to my children for giving me the gift of motherhood...you have blessed me with my life's greatest work and then launched me into the privilege of guiding thousands of parents over the last two decades...for this and so much more, I am deeply grateful to you both and look forward to witnessing your continued growth and evolving authenticity🙏

Happy Mother's Day! 🌷🌸

📸@lifeizphoto ❤️ by @allisonlatonamft

Becoming a mother is a transformative experience on every level...emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, personally and professionally.

As a mother you are called to grow and stretch in ways you never imagined, to let go like never before, and to love and accept your children as they ARE vs. how you imagined them to be!
You must also practice self-compassion, as you navigate it all imperfectly.

I am deeply grateful for being given the gift of motherhood...of mindfully raising children who are thriving and being at the helm of so many mother's journeys. I respect mothering as an absolute privilege... and my heart goes out to those who have yearned for this experience and yet life had another plan...you too have had to let go, accept, and grow in ways unimagined.😔❤️

Happy Mother's Day!🌸 by @allisonlatonamft

Create a vision for your path ahead and set your intentions to practice...
when your fall off track, be gentle with yourself, and just begin again...
📸 @lifeizphoto

#wellness #wellbeing #selfcare #connectthroughwellness #mentalhealthmatters #childrensmentalhealthmatters #stayingconnected #stressrelief
#findingconnection #pauses #personaltransformation
#minireset #setintention #intentionalparenting
#psychotherapist #childdevelopmentspecialist #latherapist by @allisonlatonamft

Happy New Year~!
A mission statement is a tool that acts as a guiding light to manifest the objectives and larger vision for a business, and can be utilized for your own life and family~
It is the key to success in business... and I would argue for families as well!

I encourage parents from early on in their journey to ponder, explore, discover, define, and redefine over time what their vision is for their family:

What is prioritized in your family life? What are the values you want to instill? What character traits do you want to develop?
What skills do you want to foster?
What do you want to equip your children with for adulthood?
What rituals will you create to foster family memories and togetherness?

This then becomes your roadmap for your daily interactions, moment to moment, with your children.
It shapes HOW you parent, WHAT you model, your discipline approach, and all the teaching moments you facilitate.

It doesn't mean you have to do it perfectly, because remember that's a teaching moment in and of itself, but the family mission statement continuously supports and guides the foundation you are paving and is a major touchstone that helps weave the fabric of the family both as a whole, and as individuals....
As parents you WILL manifest what you set out to create... resilient & empathic children with character, values, skills, and purpose who contribute to the world and live authentic, fulfilling lives.

Along with a secure attachment, this is the greatest gift you can give a child!

#mindfulparenting #healthyrelationships #consciousparent #parentingchoices #parentcoaching #parentingstrategies #raisingworldcitizens by @allisonlatonamft

Wishing you and your families many blessings this holiday season and beyond💫

Take this time to BE present, make memories together, and witness the beauty of life and connection everywhere! 🙏❤️
📸: @mylifeizthis by @allisonlatonamft

Getting kids to listen can often be a challenge.

Parents have many agendas that kids often don’t really care about…personal hygiene, cleaning up, protecting sleep, being on time, leaving the play date, etc.

Kids have a developmental need for autonomy, so when parents are directing their child to do the many things that need to happen in a given day, the response is often not to listen. But when parents mindfully take the time to get down on their child’s level, ‘come along side them’ make a connection, and acknowledge what their child is in the midst of, before directing them to the task at hand, their child feels heard and is more likely to listen!

#mindfulparenting #mindfulmoment #consciousparent #momlife
#parentingstrategies #parentingdaily#parentingadvice #relationshipmatters #positiveparenting #parentingjourney #parenting #parenthoodgoals #connection #communicationiskey #raisingkids by @allisonlatonamft

Such a pleasure joining @jessicadiamondrdn and @hayley_hubbard on the @meaningfullliving podcast this week talking about sibling dynamics — the sweet and not-so-sweet moments! We talk about fostering a positive relationship, improving rivalry, how to handle fights, and preparing for a new sibling.
You'll learn so many simple and practical tips!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Check it out @meaningfullliving to listen to this amazing episode! #meaningfullliving #meaningfulllivingpodcast
#childdevelopment #parentingtips #relationshipmatters #therapist #mindfulparenting #siblings #parentingjourney by @allisonlatonamft

Discipline is about teaching and guiding~

It’s a child’s job to test their parents to separate and become their own person, and to test their environment to learn about the world.
It’s a parents job to set the limits, set parameters, and establish the boundaries is their world repetitively until they can do so for themselves. This is what both helps your child feel safe and secure, and learn what is needed to thrive as an adult.
There is nothing quite like parenting, (except marriage)that has such significant power in triggering your childhood pain. The constant demands, testing, tantrums, and feeling of a lack of control when a child won’t listen, coupled with too little self care is a recipe for becoming triggered and being emotionally reactive in an interaction. Looking under the reactivity are feelings of not being heard as a child, fear, incompetence, inadequacy, shame, etc. and the lesson to be taught in the moment is lost.
‘Flipping your lid’ as a parent is completely understandable as we are human with a brain that gets overloaded at times, however it’s just not effective in teaching your child the lesson at hand.
When you are angry in the interaction with your child, they focus on your anger, rather than on the learning they need to master.
So....we must find our calm so our kids can do their learning!

To stay out of reactivity:
✅Fill up your tank with self care...exercise, meditation, journaling, date night, connect with a friend...etc.

✅Prepare your child with the plan so they know what to expect and can rise to the occasion.

✅Follow through after just 1-2 reminders.

✅When you feel yourself becoming dis-regulated PAUSE, take deep breaths, step away for a moment, splash some water on your face etc, so you can handle the moment with presence and objectivity.

✅Seek a therapist to work through childhood issues so you can be in the present rather than triggered:)

#discipline #emotions #skillbuilding #disciplineisteaching #tipoftheday #howtodownregulate #regulated
#parentingadvice #parentingstrategies
#parentingeducation
#peacefulparenting by @allisonlatonamft

Your relationship is the centerpiece of the family~
It is your child’s first model of love and their blueprint to intimacy. ❤️

As parents, it is critically important to fill the emotional bank of your relationship with quality time and connection, so you can be a positive and loving source for the family.

When your bank has reserves to draw from, then when the inevitable life stressors arise, your relationship will have a buffer that protects it from engaging in negative interactions. When your bank is in the ‘red’, depleted with little to no connected moments, your relationship will not weather the storm of life so well, which can greatly impact your kids. Children are acutely attuned to the emotional climate of the home, so this is so very important to tend to.

When you give to your relationship you give to your child. We know one of the greatest gifts you can give your child is a happy & fulfilled marriage💗

Model for your children loving interactions, respectful expression of feelings and the enjoyment of spending time together.

Remember the goal is to be family-centric, not child-centric as this is what is best for your child. Hold onto this motto: What’s good for the family is good for the child!

#marriage #relationshipgoals #familycenter #connection #partner #relationshipgoals #relationshipmatters #parenthoodmoments #selfcare #datenight #maternalmentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #partnership #maritalbliss #parentinglife #intimacy #gottmaninstitute #raisinghealthykids #loveyourkids #psychotherapy #couplestherapy #parentingtips #parentcoach by @allisonlatonamft

We know so much about how experiences shape our child’s brain. When we give children the opportunity to struggle, problem solve, and do things for themselves, they develop resilience. Children cannot develop optimally without frustration! What makes our kids resilient is having lots of practice in dealing with difficult emotions and situations with enough support.
As parents, rather than preventing our kids from challenge, we walk them through it. They need us to show up in the moment with warmth, connection and empathy, even while setting boundaries.

The difference between adversity and challenge making a child fragile OR resilient is having enough SUPPORT!!

#parenthoodgoals #growthmindset #consciousparent #parentingwithintention #mindfulparenting
#purposefulparenting #presentparenting #relationshipmatters #connection #innergrowth #parentingdaily
#earlylearning101 #patienceiskey #childdevelopment #earlychildhood #lifewithkids #childgrowth #kidslearning #progressnotperfection #parentsupport #parentingadvice #parentcoaching
#losangelestherapist #therapy #growth #change by @allisonlatonamft

Besides my husband, no other than my first born son has taught me more about unconditional love and acceptance (as an adult).

This magnificent boy is the catalyst to so much personal & professional growth, and I am forever grateful to him 🙏

As my first child, he was the impetus that inspired & shaped my life’s work in parenting and relationships💕 When he was born, I was already a practicing therapist, but his life brought my passion & vision into sharper focus. As an infant he opened my eyes to profound & exciting insights and learnings that have led me to where I am today💫

He has also shown me what it’s like to have a true ‘calling’ and has demonstrated the courage, determination, and perseverance to pursue it, in spite of it being at odds of what others saw for him.
It was in this unfoldment that I was given the opportunity to embrace radical acceptance of exactly who he is, not who I ‘wish’ him to be, more than ever before.  As a parent, this is relatively ‘easy’ when your child chooses a path of familiarity, similar to what you may have unconsciously imagined for them.  However, when that’s not so, you must grow in order to let go, trust, & support your child, in the interest of preserving your precious connection and wanting them to live authentically for a fulfilling life.  This is rarely easy, but always fruitful.

Parenting is such a parallel & integral process of growth, where if you allow it, the parent grows alongside and in relationship with their child, and both are forever changed❤️🌱

How has your child inspired growth in you?

#radicalacceptance #authentic #growth #innergrowth #consciousparenting #relationshipmatters #connection #mindfulmama #respectfulparenting #loveyourkids #boymom #welcometoparenthood #parenting #raisingkidsright #motherhoodjourney #parentsupport #parentcoaching #latherapist by @allisonlatonamft

No one prepares you for the repetition required in parenting.

Parents often mistakenly assume that their efforts in positive discipline are not effective, since they find themselves repeating limits over and over again, with little to no change.  They also often find that what tends to work best is when they lose their sh#@*t with their kids.

Yet, in the pursuit of autonomy, it is a child’s job to test their limits and parents over, and over, and over again!…and it’s a parents job to set the limits over, and over, and over, and over again, until….
their child integrates the limit and is able to stop their body on their own!  This means lots of repetition!

Also in order to grow the optimal “intrinsic motivation” in our kids, where they employ physical and emotional regulation, utilize their skills and make good choices, the repetition needs to be done in a calm state vs. an emotionally reactive state.
When we scream at our kids to comply we can scare them into cooperation out of fear, “extrinsic motivation”, but what happens when you aren’t there?
We want our kids to develop the internal resources to make the right choices when no one is looking.

Parenting is “slow farming”, in that the process of cultivating learning and integration is a SLOW, cumulative process.  It requires patience and faith, and repetition!

The reality is that with an immature brain, the skills of physical & emotional regulation, planning, focus, task completion, problem solving, decision making, & self understanding are limited and still developing, thus repetition must be expected.  The prefrontal cortex, where all these skills lie, takes 25 years to be developed.

As the “growth mindset” reminds us, it takes a lot of practice, dedication, and perseverance to master new skills.  Parenting is no different.

Trust the process (I know it’s not easy!)…your hard work will pay off with a child who thrives!

#tipoftheday #latherapist #parentcoaching #psychotherapist #childdevelopmentexpert #discipline #kidslearning #progressnotperfection #skillbuilding #teachingtools #teachingskills #growth #innergrowth
#growthmindset #consciousparent #respectfulparenting #parentinggoals by @allisonlatonamft