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John Murray, DVM | Veterinarian

@drmurrayhospicevet

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Hospice Veterinarian | End-of-Life Care
Helping families navigate hard goodbyes
📍 Chicagoland Area
⬇️ Support, education, and guidance

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If our dogs could explain their last day, I don’t think they’d talk about how many days they had left.

I think they’d tell us how they felt.

As a hospice veterinarian, one of the hardest questions I hear is, “How do I know when it’s time?” We spend so much energy looking for certainty that we sometimes miss what they’re quietly telling us every day.

Quality of life isn’t measured by eating a meal, drinking water, or making it outside one more time. It’s measured by comfort. Joy. Rest. Freedom from pain. The ability to enjoy being themselves.

The decision to say goodbye is never about giving up. It’s about choosing love over suffering when medicine can no longer give them the life they deserve.

If you’re carrying guilt over a decision you’ve made, or one you’re facing, I hope these words bring you a little peace.

Your dog never counted the days.

They counted the moments they spent with you.

And if they could leave you with one last message, I believe it would simply be:

“Thank you for loving me enough to let me rest.”

#dogsoftiktok #petloss #doggrief #petgrief #doglover by @drmurrayhospicevet

Some dogs come into your life and become part of your routine.

A soul dog becomes part of who you are.

They know your moods before you speak. They follow you from room to room. They sit with you through heartbreak, stress, grief, and ordinary days that somehow mattered because they were there too.

And when they leave, it doesn’t just feel quiet.

It feels like a piece of your emotional safety disappeared with them.

Nobody really prepares you for the silence after a soul dog.
The absence in the house.
The missing sound of paws.
The instinct to still look for them without thinking.

If you’ve lost a soul dog, I think you know exactly what I mean. ❤️

What is the name of your soul dog?

#souldog #heartdog #petloss #rainbowbridge🌈 #bestfriend by @drmurrayhospicevet

One of the most important things I’ve learned doing end-of-life care is that grief rarely looks the same from person to person, even within the same family.

When families are facing the decision to say goodbye to a beloved pet, emotions can become incredibly intense. Some family members may feel ready because they are focused on the pet’s suffering and quality of life. Others may feel shocked, overwhelmed, or desperate for more time. Some people emotionally prepare weeks in advance, while others cannot fully process it until the moment is actually happening.

None of these reactions make someone wrong or uncaring.

In veterinary medicine, we often enter families’ lives during one of the most painful and vulnerable moments they will ever experience. Sometimes those moments are peaceful and unified. Other times, they are emotional, messy, complicated, and deeply human.

I also think it’s important to remember that there is no “perfect” goodbye. Not every family member is able to be present during euthanasia, and not every family member emotionally handles these moments the same way. Some people need to hold their pet until the very end. Others step away because the pain feels too overwhelming. Some people cry openly, while others go quiet. Grief and love can present themselves in very different ways.

As veterinarians, our role is never to judge families for how they grieve. Our role is to advocate for the pet, help assess quality of life, provide education and support, and try to create as much peace and compassion as possible in an incredibly difficult moment.

This experience reminded me how important communication can be around end-of-life decisions, especially within families. These conversations are hard, but having them openly and compassionately can help reduce confusion, anger, and regret when the time comes.

At the center of all of this was a very loved senior dog who was struggling, and a family trying to navigate heartbreak in different ways. Sometimes the best we can do is slow things down, lead with empathy, and help create a small moment of comfort in the middle of grief.

#petloss #grief #costco #euthanasia #goodbye by @drmurrayhospicevet

Behavioral euthanasia is one of the most heartbreaking decisions a family can face.
What people don’t always see are the months or years of training, veterinary visits, medications, sleepless nights, and difficult conversations that may have come before that decision.
These families love their dogs. Many have done everything they possibly could to help them.
But severe aggression can put people and other animals at risk, and sometimes the dog is suffering mentally, too.
As a veterinarian, I wish more people understood that behavioral euthanasia is rarely a decision made lightly.
To the families who have had to make this decision, your grief is real, your love was real, and you deserve compassion, not judgment.
#BehavioralEuthanasia #DogAggression #PetLoss #VeterinaryMedicine #PetGrief by @drmurrayhospicevet

Of all the moments for my pants to rip, this was definitely NOT the one I would’ve chosen.

But what started as one of the most embarrassing moments of my veterinary career turned into something I’ll never forget.

As a hospice veterinarian, I witness some of the most heartbreaking moments in people’s lives. But something I wish more people understood is that grief and laughter can coexist.

Sometimes an unexpected moment of laughter is exactly what a grieving family needs to open up, share memories, and remember all the happiness their pet brought into their lives.

And the fact that this family reached out afterward to thank me made the whole experience even more meaningful.

As for my @wearfigs scrubs, these were the VERY first pair I bought during my first year of veterinary school over six years ago. They’ve been through just about everything with me, and I’ve been obsessed with @wearfigs ever since.

A little disclaimer: I’ve also been hitting the gym more lately, especially leg day, so I think my growing thighs might deserve some of the blame here.

Six years of veterinary medicine, countless patients, and apparently one squat too many.

Thank you, FIGS, for six incredible years with this pair. I think they’ve officially earned their retirement. #wearfigs #scrubs #euthanasia #hospicevet #figsscrubs by @drmurrayhospicevet

You scheduled the appointment after a difficult stretch. Then that morning, your dog wants breakfast, asks to go outside, or greets you with a wag.

Of course you start questioning everything.

A good morning matters. It deserves to be part of the conversation, alongside the difficult nights, changes in comfort, and whether treatment is still helping.

Tell your veterinarian exactly what seems different. You can say, “Today looks better, and I need help understanding what that means.”

Sometimes a change warrants reassessing the plan. Sometimes a brighter morning happens within an illness that is still seriously affecting their quality of life. One moment alone cannot tell us which.

Having an appointment scheduled does not mean you have to stop asking questions. You deserve to understand the recommendation, including when your dog’s good moments make it harder to accept.

#peteuthanasia #petqualityoflife #pethospice #seniordogcare #anticipatorygrief by @drmurrayhospicevet

You gather their blanket with the rest of the laundry. Then you hold it close, and it still smells like them.

Suddenly, you’re standing in front of the washing machine trying to decide whether you can press start.

It’s the blanket you tucked around them. The one they slept on beside you. Washing it can feel like letting go of another little piece you weren’t ready to lose.

You can set it aside for now. You can wash it when you’re ready. And if you already washed it before realizing how much that scent meant to you, please be gentle with yourself.

You were caring for their things the way you always had.

Did you keep a blanket, a collar, or something else that still feels like theirs?

#petloss #petgrief #petlosssupport #dogloss #grievingapet by @drmurrayhospicevet

You’ve unclipped their collar countless times for baths or bedtime. During goodbye, that same little buckle can suddenly feel impossible to undo.

There isn’t one required moment when every pet’s collar has to come off. It can often stay on during euthanasia, depending on your pet’s comfort and whether your veterinarian needs access around their neck.

If keeping it on matters to you, say so. You can also ask to remove it yourself afterward or have your veterinary team help.

Before your pet leaves your care, let the team know if you want the collar returned. Transport and cremation arrangements vary, so it’s worth making that wish clear.

You don’t have to treat it like a small detail. It’s something you’ve touched every day of their life with you.

#inhomeeuthanasia #petloss #petlosssupport #petgrief #pethospice by @drmurrayhospicevet

Heidi, the horses, and I had the best time during our Halloween photo shoot!

One thing I hear almost every day in my line of work is, “I wish I had taken more pictures.”

So many pet owners find themselves looking back through years of memories, wishing they had captured just a few more moments with their best friend.

It’s something I try to remind myself of, too. Some of these pictures might seem funny or ridiculous now, but I know there will come a day when I would give anything to relive these moments.

Take the pictures. Make the memories. Even the mundane ones. Because one day, they’ll mean more than you could ever imagine.

Happy Halloween from our little crew! Wishing you and your pets a fun and safe holiday. And remember, keep the chocolate away from your furry friends! #halloween2026 #horses #blueheeler #ghosts #funnydog by @drmurrayhospicevet

Grief looks different for everyone, and sometimes it leads to situations we don’t encounter every day in veterinary medicine.
This owner had held onto his beloved pets for years, originally hoping to preserve them through taxidermy. Now, he was finally ready to have them cremated.
While this may seem unusual to some, I never want to judge how someone navigates the loss of a pet they loved so deeply.
At the end of the day, our job is to lead with compassion, understanding, and respect. Every pet deserves dignity, and every owner deserves kindness. #Veterinarian #VetLife #PetLoss #PetGrief #PetLossSupport EndOfLifeCare by @drmurrayhospicevet

For weeks, you woke at every sound. Helped them outside in the dark. Checked whether they needed water, medication, or a different position.

Then comes the first night you sleep until morning.

And when you realize why, the guilt can hit before you even get out of bed.

You can miss your pet terribly and feel relief from the constant worry and exhaustion of caring for them. Those feelings can exist together.

Sleeping well doesn’t mean you wanted them gone. It doesn’t undo the nights you got up, the appointments you made, or the ways you changed your life to care for them.

You’re allowed to rest now, even while you wish they were still beside you.

#petloss #petgrief #petlosssupport #caregivergrief #pethospice by @drmurrayhospicevet

Nine minutes. That’s how quickly everything changed for one family today.
An owner reached out to schedule an in-home euthanasia appointment for their beloved dog. Just nine minutes later, their dog had passed away.
I don’t share this story to place blame or make anyone feel guilty. I share it because dogs are incredibly good at hiding pain, and the signs of decline can be so easy to mistake for normal aging.
Sleeping more. Eating less. Slowing down. Struggling to get comfortable.
Sometimes these changes happen gradually. Other times, things progress much faster than anyone could anticipate.
This is why I share what I see as an end-of-life veterinarian. Not to scare pet owners, but to educate them, help them recognize subtle changes, and encourage conversations about quality of life before a crisis occurs.
Because every pet deserves comfort, dignity, and love in their final chapter.
And every family deserves compassion, not judgment.
Please share this with someone who has a senior pet. It might help them recognize something they hadn’t noticed before.
#SeniorDogs #PetHospice #DogHealth #VeterinaryMedicine #DrMurrayHospiceVet by @drmurrayhospicevet