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🦊Denae

@feral_stoned_foxx

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My Abstract Delirium in this matrix of perpetual illusion
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The anatomy of a trigger fueled from both sides casts beams of unwanted light on the ego. We own the light, we command the sun, but our place is in the dark, so when these beams show our true self and the fragile ego Aura  that  accompanies us, we react the only way we know how. Defenses go  up. The warmth shifts into anger and we become beacons of pride. And it highlights our faults better than our intentions. And though we play with fire, we don't heal quite as easily from the burns we collect on the surface. There isn't a topical that sooths a burned heart, you have to sit and wait for it  to regenerate from The fallen ashes. And it will, just as it always has, but it's never an easy feat. We work on becoming our higher self, but old triggers will continue to test us. It's stupid to concentrate on  outrunning shadows. They're stuck in the past anyways, so why even bother? by @feral_stoned_foxx
I get it. I get it now. How it looks from the outside in..It's like a mirror was placed in front of my face.I see it. I see it all so clearly now,  just flipped in reverse.  How the shadows speak and cause your skin to crawl. The pressure, the weight,  the responsibility.  Rip off the harness, it wasn't providing any safety, stead  a choke hold . Faith is important, but not like hope. Hope will get you through the tunnel vision. It'll buy you some time and  All I got is time. But Faith hits harder, faith is covered in trust. In knowing. In expecting without proof. Faith will guide you. There is strength in faith. The moment you lose faith, you lose yourself and everything that comes with the future you are promised. by @feral_stoned_foxx
There's this place I go to whenever I'm feeling sad….  And I hate the collection of tears I've left there. I hate how I'm drawn to that space like a beacon at every loss in my life. Why do I go there? I look for peace.. but There aren't any good memories there for me....Ahh yes, well, I suppose there is one. And in reflection, I think it's probably my favorite memory. Because it's where I was  the first time I felt like I belonged somewhere. Never really felt that since. by @feral_stoned_foxx
I once kissed a boy and fell into a void. Where neither time, nor space existed. My mind floated in this unexplored place  where I felt as though I was falling ....down…down…down.  Our 2  souls inside our bodies graced each other in presence for the first time and I swear, it felt like 2 souls touching something solid for the very first time before melting into each other  and coagulating like a bloodstain on a white carpet . by @feral_stoned_foxx
INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE VISITING EARTH "In the event that you wake up and find your soul separated from source and manifest into material form, don’t panic. Your condition is only temporary. You have been selected for the opportunity of human incarnation. This 3D simulation is designed to break up the monotony of eternity by giving you a fully immersive experience as a distinct ego identity. Your body will serve as your physical avatar as you navigate a dense and dramatic reality. There will be many distractions causing you to forget your true nature and origin. You will experience a range of emotions, from joy to loneliness to despair. But remember – no matter what trials and traumas you encounter, your soul remains perfectly safe. At times you may feel lost or afraid. This is totally normal. If you ever need guidance, simply slow down your busy mind and bring your awareness to the quiet place inside yourself. On this planet, nothing is permanent. People and things will come and go. You will fall in love and form sentimental attachments only to lose everything you hold dear. So cling to nothing too tightly, even yourself, and when it’s time to let go, let go with grace, for nothing is owned, only borrowed. As you walk among the people on the planet, try to be a good guest. Tread lightly. Remember that you are only visiting. Don’t make a mess. Listen more than you speak. Give more than you take. Don’t keep your soft heart locked inside a glass cage, protected from wear and tear. You’ll never make it out alive and time passes quickly. So come back with some battle scars and good stories to tell." by @feral_stoned_foxx
I am not here to  gain introspection or understand every strange little  thing that happens to me.  Im here to chase white rabbits wearing waistcoats and wander through impossible gardens. I'm all for falling.. falling down and  in love with people who make the world tilt sideways. I'm.here to drink tea with the moon, to laugh at the wrong answers, to kiss beneath crooked stars, and to keep walking even when the path disappears. Perhaps love is not a promise that someone will stay forever, but the marvelous little madness of meeting them in the middle of the wonder, taking each other's hands and  saying, “come on, let's see where this goes.”  Sometimes courage is choosing one strange little door, leaving the others unopened, and walking through it with your whole heart. Let yourself be swept up. Let yourself be surprised. Let yourself be a little lost. You do not need to know whether the path ends in forever or simply in a beautiful afternoon you will remember for the rest of your life.Love is supposed to make you a little unreasonable, a little ridiculous, perhaps if you're really lucky.. gloriously deranged. by @feral_stoned_foxx
So... I turned 40. Which is kinda weird cuz in my head I'm still a Awkward Raccoon wandering through life going, "What's over there?"all while accidentally finding myself getting adopted by some of the most beautiful people along the way. I thought about writing something filled with wisdom, resilience, and some accomplishments, But all I keep circling back to is the people who've been a part of my life and how appreciative I am for them. It's not every day that I meet someone who's listened to one of my questionable ideas about an adventure and said, " I'M DOWN. In fact they are few and far between. I think about the people who've saved me a seat at the table, shared lunches, dinners, motorcycle rides, and smoke sessions, and somehow made even the messy parts of life feel lighter. The ones I've laughed with over music and the coworkers who I've trama bonded with in the chaos. The ones who open their homes, their families, and their hearts. The ones who listen without rushing, give advice without judgment, hug without hesitation, and know exactly when to call or send a message because I need a friend the most. Thank you to everyone who's seen me when I felt invisible, heard me when I struggled to find the words, invited me in when I didn't know where I belonged, and reminded me that love often looks like showing up, checking in, and making sure I don't completely lose my mind on the eve of a full moon. Life isn't measured by what we collect or how many times we start over. It's measured by the people who choose us, over and over, in all the ordinary, hilarious, and hard moments. The adventures that began with absolutely no plan whatsoever except, me saying something like. "there's supposed to be this weird thing somewhere in the middle of nowhere..wanna check it out”? I'm thankful for the brave navigators who trusted my sense of direction, despite being forwarned. The people who got gloriously lost with and most likely BECAUSE OF me. The people who invited me into their homes until they quietly became family. The ones who introduced me to new places, new foods, new music, new traditions, and entirely new ways of seeing the world. --continued in alt T by @feral_stoned_foxx
She was a fire-tailed fox who learned to burrow beneath the earth, glowing below dream-soaked forests. Sleeping among black roses, tree roots and other dead things. She learned long ago how to hold her love wrapped with silk ribbons behind her ribs like precious contraband, because it had fallen out of place far too many times before. She did not have arms to run to, though she tried. She Did not search for replacement moons. She simply learned how to hold space for herself. How to appreciate the glow of her tail, the warmth it provided And placed the moon into the void of her soul. Sometimes, late at night, the fox crawls from her hollow earth and stares upward silently to visit her moon. There it sits, beautiful enough to ruin her, distant enough to hurt. Pulling tides from the fox’s tiny burning body without ever touching her at all. Other nights there is no moon in sight to fill the sky. And the darkness, though filled with life, feels lonely and cold and sends shivers down her spine. So she retreats back into her nest and wraps herself into her curled tail, casting a spell of mischief and light to sooth the knots in her stomach till she finds relief. Composing in the quiet of her burrow where her emotion pulses and becomes rhythm so that her energy can transcend, drawing those who are meant to hear her song. Photo credit: @mishelly22 by @feral_stoned_foxx
The surface on this planet isn't fun… the artificial turf feels rough on the skin and it smells like burnt hair.  Superficial is maddening. Give me REAL. Give me your deepest secrets, your darkest desires , your heaviest wounds. All the stuff you hide in shadows and I'll show you the softness within it all. Rivers of ink may  streak down my face but I will still make   silly attempts  to  dress it up with  glitter because  a silly girl like me would rather choose to unravel like a comet in a sky of darkness before fading  quietly past the wildness of the keep ...only to  die  in a pile of  ash and yet also A silly Girl making silly faces. Which colors do you choose to paint with?  Which palette suits your aesthetic? The one that feels soul emptying, sad inducing,  tragic... Or the  colors of  lust and love that feel equally  poetic?   Where do you want it to hurt? Where do you want to feel it most?  Start with The Head & the Heart and then always leave room for Desert. Because  Emotions are the compass. Every feeling is your soul communicating. Allowing you to build safety within yourself so that it echos and reflects a magnetic pulse, just.. like… the moon. by @feral_stoned_foxx
You know this place leaks endings. You can smell the ruin like rain on a collapsing city. Still—you follow. Because this is not hunger of the body, no simple spark-and-ash affair. This is a slow, elegant eclipse of thought, a mind folding inward. by @feral_stoned_foxx
"You are not for everyone. There are poems within you that people will not be able to handle, storms surging through your bones that some will never have the courage to weather. See, you have a love inside of you that will ooze from your very veins like honey on a hot day and you will never be able to stop it. You’re going to fall deeply in love with the softest of worlds – the kind of world tender hearts dream of, the kind of world where people say how they feel and love whom they love without hesitation. You will forever be attached to the deep parts of those you tangle yourself within. Hope will pour out of you like rain. But, from time to time, you are going to be misunderstood in the way you care, because you will love people not for what is obvious within them, but for what is hidden beneath their masks. You are not going to revel in their freckles, you will not compliment the hues within their eyes. You are going to live for the way they breathe in the cold December air, watching as their chest rises and falls like your very heartbeat. You are going to live for the way their pupils dilate when they talk about something they are truly passionate about. You are going to live for the way they dream, for the ways in which they gift the world their tenderness. No, you are not for everyone. You are never going to be able to stop yourself from screaming your love from rooftops. I hope that you do not let the world condemn you for being too loud, too expressive, too soft; that you do not let it convince you to be perfect instead of real. Rejoice in the fact that you do not fit in, that you think differently, because there is a chaos that laughs inside of you and it changes lives." by @feral_stoned_foxx
You think you're special? That's cute...Why is that? What makes you believe that you are? Because you're loved? Baby, I hate to break it to you but  you're not the first. I've been loving people who don't care to love me back for as long as I can remember. So no… you're not special, you're exactly like everyone else. How uninspired.... How Boring. by @feral_stoned_foxx

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