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Florida Man

@floridaman_bq

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Raised as a captive Cascadian sasquatch in a government lab in the Everglades, now a premiere stage kitten at burlesque shows in the PNW

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Been hammin' it up, showin' leg, snappin' shots and bein' a THOT with @theundergroundburlesque at Vault Virgins as but a humble audience member

📷: @kentbrileyphotography by @floridaman_bq

How many grams of protein are in a serving of Florida Man?
📸: @christyalejandraphotography
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#floridaman #abs #hairychest #tattoos #gay by @floridaman_bq

I’ve thought about making even MORE separate accounts for all the different versions of me, but honestly… absolutely the fuck not. 😂

I LOVE the Gemini duality. Being 12 different people before lunch and somehow all of them are me.

I love hot dogs, camping, dancing, exercising until I’m exhausted. Performing in full glam, 5-star meals, champagne, and nice clothes. Wearing only my partner’s clothes and getting yelled at for stealing them. 😂

Getting handed a drink when I’m in a shitty mood and 20 minutes later I’m swimming and having the best weekend of my life.

I contain multitudes. I contain chaos. I’m having the best time despite having the most packed schedule. It’s going to be ok.

I love collecting weird little moments with people who can handle all my different sides and bring their own chaos too. I’m so happy I found you guys. 🫶

Anyway, here’s some recent feral behavior with some of my favorite humans. ❤️♊️ are you a Gemini? Do you love a Gemini? Tell meeeeeeee by @floridaman_bq

"Wrapped in mystery, music, and magnetic energy these performers bring the night alive. Every step, every pose, every moment is a reminder that confidence is the most powerful thing you can wear."

These men right here have the biggest and sexiest souls! They have so much confidence it can make everyone scream for more! They were making everyone toasty in the room that day!!!

Sexy men of burlesque
@floridaman_bq @_roger_that_spokane_
@mattyvonbeefcake @msamberguesa
@ahhh_damn_it

@vaudevillainsspokane @theguardianspokane

#christyalejandraphotography #burlesque #burlesqueperformer #spokaneburlesque #pnwphotographer by @floridaman_bq

It seems every other weekend @sarahbellem_burlyq is "bullying" me into elaborate events. I'm not 100% sure what "cunt" means as an adjective but this weekend I hope to find out at CVNT at @_trvst.no.1_ with @theundergroundburlesque

Sarah said something about a "sapphic love letter written in rage" but I also don't know what that means??? Come help me figure it out. I'm just attending to learn this time.

📸: @bluerskys_photography @christyalejandraphotography @ashxtronaut @purgatory_666_777 from WITCHHUNT, Entice, Rites of Spring by @floridaman_bq

Something stalks the forest at night…is it the devil? The Puritans? Or just our slinky kittens? Florida Man and Meadow Mirage will be prowling around TRVST all night this Saturday for your pleasure. They came to hunt witches, but they very well may fall under one’s spell…

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Get your tickets to see our beautiful kittens prowl around all night long on May 16! Tickets are in limited supply so don’t wait, buy now! $15 at the link in our bio or bit.ly/WITCH-HUNT

Photos by @bluerskys_photography by @floridaman_bq

What happened next? (Wrong answers only)
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#gym #flex #bros #abs #fitness by @floridaman_bq

This. Fuckin. Guy. @floridaman_bq got his IG stalked as if I didn't take the raw photos.

This man is an absolute powerhouse of kittendom. Taking notes, making sure to talk to each performer about the specifics. Giving everyone an individualized pep talk. He's the boyfriend of the collective cast. He's the seduction upon the floor as he slinks across the floor to collect the money and unmentionables ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥🥵❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 maybe I'm a bit biased, but he's the only good thing Ive seen out of Florida in a while.

Come see him TOMORROW at @_trvst.no.1_ for @muffymanslayer and I's RITES OF SPRING: a misfit burlesque show! Still a few tickets left for 9 pm :) by @floridaman_bq

This woman lives to bully me. All I did was carry a WHOLE COUCH off stage BY MYSELF but I forget ONE LITTLE FOLDING CHAIR and suddenly she's making me take off my pants in front of EVERYONE and do pushups while she uses me as a chair 🥵

I need witnesses at the next show on the 21st because she's hosting again and she said something about "little yellow bellied rodent" and I'm nervous. Ticket link in bio.

📸: @p.o.visuals at @coilyogadanceaerial with @sarahbellem_burlyq for their RED show where I was THE BEST kitten.

#spokaneburlesque
#stagekitten
#manlyman #littleshorts #himboatlarge by @floridaman_bq

@sarahbellem_burlyq and @floridaman_bq at RED
@coilyogadanceaerial by @floridaman_bq

Myself and @muffymanslayer are so excited to present a TWO NIGHT EVENT with @_trvst.no.1_ and I am unable to get over our stage kittens 😍😍😍

Collecting your offerings for our performers and the layers they shed will be @dana_hamsandwich
@the_sir_spunky and @floridaman_bq with support from @crystal_explosion guiding you to your seats.

Both nights these sweet sexy babes will be there to make sure your hearts are full, wallets are empty and seats are slippery

#burlesquedancer #ecadysiastics #lovers #eatyourheartout #basementbaddies by @floridaman_bq

🫀We saw you from across the bar, we like your vibe❤️‍🔥

Come see both ME and my sweet sweet @floridaman_bq crawl across the floor at @_trvst.no.1_ on the 20th and 21st! Tickets are going SO FAST.

Link in bio

#burlesquedancer #burlesque #basementbaddies #hotcouple #manflesh by @floridaman_bq