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Still IRyze

@stilliryze

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Taking a moment to appreciate myself today.

This will be a beautiful trip around the sun.

I AM ALL THE TIME fine.

The seasons where I looked for validation outside of myself have long passed.

I am no longer waiting for permission to see my own beauty, strength, or worth.

I AM A BLACK GODDESS.

Here's to embracing every lesson, every scar, every victory, and every version of the woman I've become.

🥂 To 48.

#Goddess #SelfLoveClub #AllTheTimeFine #BlackBeauty #LetItBeBeautiful by @stilliryze

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a day ago

This is me talking to myself.

I was recently reminded of this.

The way I grew up, life was goal-oriented. If you know my mother, my siblings, and me, we're always doing something.

Even getting married became a goal—a task I accomplished. We celebrated, but it was brief. The following year, I was already on to the next thing.

I've had to learn some valuable lessons.

Not everyone moves like that. While accomplishments matter, the work it takes to achieve them deserves time to be acknowledged and celebrated—by us. Not so other people can see it, but so we can actually feel it.

My marriage wasn't a project. It was a life choice. Maybe if I hadn't treated it like another task to complete, I would have made different decisions.

Even my recovery became a task. I did all the things, but I was dissociated from the experience. When I went into remission, I was grateful—but not surprised. I checked the box and moved on.

When I decided to become a published author, I made the decision and did it. What takes some people years, I accomplished in a matter of months. Then I had the audacity to create and facilitate a course, build the curriculum, do my own marketing, cater the event, and balance multiple crises that I had carefully compartmentalized to sort through later.

Before I even gave myself a chance to absorb any of that, I had already started outlining and promoting another book.

And for most of it...I was numb.

One of the people I love flew in from another state and made me sit still long enough to reflect. He spent two days fussing at me.

Right before he got back on the plane, the last thing he said was, "Never forget who you are again."

That stayed with me.

So now I'm practicing something different.

I'm practicing celebrating before chasing the next milestone.

I'm practicing allowing joy to linger.

I'm practicing feeling the weight of what I've survived, the beauty of what I've built, and the woman I've become.

I'm practicing not doing big things...and then playing them small.

#stopplayingsmall #accomplishments #wins #growth #celebration by @stilliryze

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a day ago

I am recovering from a #flare.

The balance of life has ebbs and flows that we simply can't control. Hosting this autoimmune disease is a constant reminder of that.

I often speak about preparing for the highs during the lows and preparing for the lows during the highs.

Even with contingency plans, the only thing I can truly control is me. And when you're hosting an #autoimmunedisease, even controlling yourself can become difficult. That part can be frustrating.

Shifting my #mindset and growing in my #divinity has helped me understand what I call a pimple burst.

Before a pimple bursts, it has to come to a head. While everything is working its way to the surface, all the things festering underneath are painful, inflamed, and ugly. That's the very definition of healing.

Then, the pimple bursts.

It was never meant to become a callus.

It was a manifestation of a season purging itself.

I felt the onset of this season weeks ago. I noticed changes in my skin, and I could feel that there were too many unhealthy stressors in my orbit. My emotional diet had become poor.

Yesterday brought a significant trigger. Although I found a solution, the energy from the situation caused severe inflammation throughout the dominant side of my body. My eye socket became swollen, making it difficult to read. The headache settled deep into my temple, and even today my head is still sore to the touch. The muscles in my upper abdomen on that same side remain inflamed.

But the worst of this season is almost over.

Preparing for the low before it arrived is why I am sitting in my office today. Strengthening my mind and body, teaching my children how to step in when I need them, preparing meals ahead of time, and creating holistic practices that help manage my muscle pain alongside my medical treatment have all made a difference.

I was prepared for something I didn't know was coming.

Life isn't always simple.

We cannot control every circumstance, but we can prepare. We can strengthen ourselves. We can choose our response.

Control what you can, and give yourself grace for what you cannot. by @stilliryze

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3 days ago

The why...

Transitioning into sovereignty was only the beginning.

Realizing that my healing journey could show someone else that it is possible to move forward—to not just survive, but truly thrive beyond the things that happened—is one of the greatest honors of my life.

Every step, every setback, every lesson has led me here.

I am deeply grateful to still be here, to keep growing, and to remind others that healing is possible.

What an honor it is to live this purpose.

#Gratitude #sovereignty #healingjourney by @stilliryze

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4 days ago

When I woke up yesterday morning, I told myself that all I wanted to do was color.

I had been secretly craving a coloring date for a while now. Leave it to my nephew, Satchel, to plan the perfect day.

We walked into brunch, and he handed me a gift bag with a sketch pad and markers. He even tossed in a few mini donuts and proudly presented me with a drawing of a flower. I deduced that it was either a rose... or a monster with a lot of teeth. He quickly confirmed it was, in fact, a flower. 😂

As I sat there watching him steal my coffee while I assembled his Transformer, I found myself thanking Spirit for giving me a day to nourish my inner child.

I ended the day with ice cream and my babies.

My world can get so big and overwhelming sometimes, so I am deeply grateful for the simplicity of yesterday.

Thank you to everyone who sent a call, a text, a song, or a prayer. Your love did not go unnoticed.

I am grateful for another year to build back better—to live, love, and laugh with intention.

Cheers to another season in this realm.

Still I Rise.

#StillIRise #HappyBirthdayToMe #Gratitude #BuildBackBetter #InnerChildHealing by @stilliryze

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5 days ago

"God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt." 🤣

Honoring the 10-second rule in solidarity with my nephew.

Some battles just aren't worth fighting. 😂

#AuntiesBeLike #ILoveTheKids #GodMadeDirtAndDirtDontHurt #10SecondRule by @stilliryze

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6 days ago

This is what it looks like to have a tomboy as a best friend.

Heeey, nosey neighbors! 👋🏾👋🏾

First of all... my voice is NOT that high-pitched! 😂

Secondly, he knew good and well he wasn't about to come over here, have all that fun, and expect me to sit on the sidelines barefoot, sipping Sauvignon Blanc.

It's a power washer!

Did he expect me to be out there gardening or something? The audacity! 🤣😅

Seeing him healed and back to doing what he enjoys makes my heart smile. I love his whole life.

@Lyndale Floyd ❤️

#BestFriend #Tomboy #PowerWasher #LawnCare #NeighborhoodChronicles by @stilliryze

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7 days ago

The last workout of my birth year.

Tomorrow, we celebrate life.

Last year was... whew. When I say that pimple needed to burst...

It was time for everything that had been festering to finally be released.

I began this past year in a new gym while recovering from a medically induced lupus flare. My esophagus was inflamed, and I could barely keep food down. My lungs were weak, and so was the rest of my body.

My immune system had to be suppressed, so I had to be intentional about where I trained. The gym I was in had too many people, and I couldn't work out the way my body needed.

I didn't need a new trainer.

I knew what to do.

I needed a new environment.

That lesson wasn't just about the gym.

As I do every year, I pause in gratitude. There are so many people who have poured into me, but today I especially want to thank my longtime friend, @PhillyWeeden.

Thank you for being a beacon when I needed one.

Thank you for holding space for me.

Thank you for providing a safe place for me to heal in private... publicly. 😅🤣

When you're in darkness, look for the light.

This year I became stronger.

I became a published author.

I began rebuilding my business.

I rebuilt my body.

Most importantly, I reclaimed myself.

Today, I am internally and externally well, walking in my sovereignty and purpose—on purpose.

Happy Birthday to me. 🎉💛

Here's to another year of healing, growth, impact, and becoming.

@@thevoltfitcenter

#HappyBirthday #Gratitude #Growth #Sovereignty by @stilliryze

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7 days ago

Understanding our presence is a present can make us believe that we need to stay in space where we done feel appreciated or where there is no reciprocal pouring.

it has taken a long time for me to learn that oftentimes our gift is in leaving. That is a gift not only to them, but ourselves.

Not everyone is prepared to be loved with agape. They will spend most of the access we allowing trying to get us to abandon ourselves for a identity that more comfortably suits them.

That it not yours to hold or unpack. Give as mich as you are comfortable giving without losing yourself or harboring resentment, and allow your presence to be missed.

Moving the decimal point doesn't represent your failure, it represents their inability or unwillingness to recieve and
.
and that is OK.

Keep your light and leave them to their own darkness.
Understanding that our presence is a gift can sometimes trick us into believing we must remain in spaces where we don't feel appreciated or where there is no reciprocal pouring.

It has taken me a long time to learn that, oftentimes, our greatest gift is in leaving. That is a gift not only to them, but to ourselves.

Not everyone is prepared to be loved with agape. Many will spend the access we've allowed trying to convince us to abandon ourselves in exchange for an identity that is more comfortable for them.

That is not yours to hold or unpack.

Give as much as you are comfortable giving without losing yourself or harboring resentment, then allow your presence to be missed.

Moving the decimal point doesn't represent your failure. It represents their inability—or unwillingness—to receive what you have to offer.

And that is okay.

Protect your light. Release the need to be understood. Leave them to their own lessons while you continue walking in yours.

#love #light #release by @stilliryze

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7 days ago

So, after filing a police report for my stolen front license plate, I needed to blow off some steam.

I was so pissed I forgot my own address and how to spell my license plate... ALIGNED. 😂

Thankfully, I took this week off to focus on clearing my energy because this retrograde has been testing my inner gangsta. Rae Rae hasn't had to throw hands or rock a few heads in a good little minute.

To some people, a stolen license plate may seem minor.

To me, it was a violation.

And over the course of this week, I've realized it wasn't the only one. I identified several recurring violations that I had been too consumed to recognize.

One thing I don't do is go around announcing that I can, will, and do protect my people, my places, and my peace.

Just know my triggers are as sensitive as the hairs on my forearm.

The difference now is that healing has taught me that protection doesn't always require a reaction. Sometimes it requires awareness, boundaries, documentation, and discernment.

I'm grateful this vacation gave me the space to process my emotions, release the anger, and channel that energy into something productive instead of destructive.

Growth doesn't mean you no longer get triggered.

It means you choose your response before your triggers choose it for you.

#HealingJourney #Growth #Boundaries #Triggers #Sovereignty by @stilliryze

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8 days ago

They really tried to steal my alignment.

I pray you get all the smoke you asked for from the season I am leaving my love. I was ready for a new timeline anyway. 🤣😅

#stolenlicenseplate #alignment #timeline #karmic by @stilliryze

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8 days ago

This air quality is horrendous.

I've never been one to sit in an excuse. I may have a reason, but never an excuse.

I've lived through many life-threatening seasons. Learning what had been living inside my body and realizing I might have to prepare to leave this realm much earlier than I ever imagined was terrifying.

I toggled between fears.

The biggest one was leaving my children before they were truly prepared to live without me.

I had established a trust. I had life insurance. I taught them how to cook. I tried to prepare them for life without me in every practical way I knew how.

Still, I feared it wouldn't be enough.

Then I got better.

I wanted to return to the gym, but with my immune system compromised, I was afraid of relapsing. My immune system would remain suppressed for at least a year, yet the gym was one of the very things that had helped give me the strength to fight and survive.

During this vacation, I set a goal to work out every day that I could.

Today's air quality was a reason to make adjustments, but it wasn't an excuse to abandon my goal.

So I adapted.

I got in, got my workout done, and got back home to safety.

Sometimes resilience doesn't look like pushing through without wisdom. Sometimes it looks like honoring the circumstances, making the necessary adjustments, and refusing to let temporary conditions steal your commitment.

There's a difference between making excuses and making accommodations. Healing has taught me that.
#autoimmunedisease #autoimmune #canadafires #airquality by @stilliryze

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9 days ago