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Myla Leinweber | Parenting Solutions 🇨🇦

@joyful.parents

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✨Creative, playful parenting tips (2-8)
🙌 Understand behaviour& what truly works
🌶️Specializing in kids with big behaviours
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I already know the pushback that’s coming… let’s see if I can predict them all.😜

😴 “I’m too tired to turn everything into a game.”
Totally fair. And also… playfulness saved me energy in this situation. Instead of a 20 minute power struggle, we are out the door in less than 1 minute.

😤 “Why do I have to play just to get them to put on a jacket?”
You don’t. It’s an offering that can help if the reason your child isn’t putting on their jacket is because of a need for power or love and belonging. When the needs are met, the struggle shrinks.

😬 “If I do this once, won’t they expect me to be silly EVERY time?”
Nope. But you are wiring their brain for connection and that getting out the door is simple. Other strategies that work: telling a story as you hand the jacket and make your way out the door. Holding the loving boundary. Carrying the jacket (and maybe the child) and confidently moving forward. Playfulness is one offering (that totally works!).

☝️ So why even TRY a playful pivot?
✨Because play = connection.
✨Connection = cooperation.
✨And cooperation from a regulated child is an entirely different experience than forcing compliance from an overwhelmed one.

And one more thing…
✨Play means you aren’t yelling, threatening, bribing, or going into a power struggle you didn’t have energy for in the first place.
It protects the relationship.

👉 Follow for more playful pivots you can try today, and if you need help with meltdowns and play feels like a distant option… comment PLAN for something to help.

And try this one tomorrow morning and see what happens. by @joyful.parents

It’s okay to laugh… and also admit this is exhausting.
Because if parenting your child who lives close to shame feels like navigating a haunted hous…where the jump scare is triggered by the wrong cereal, you’re not alone.
If this carousel is giving you “it’s funny because it’s true, but also not funny at allllll” you are in the right place! When you have a child who has a lot of explosions over a lot of things, it’s a lot of tension. A lot of holding your breath. A lot of wondering what’s going to set things off next.
That’s exactly why I created The Meltdown Plan.
So you’re not tiptoeing through your day, bracing for the next explosion.
So when the meltdown does happen, you already know what to do.
✨ Make sure you’re following this page, then comment PLAN below for the link.
(Or check the link in bio if that’s easier.)
Let’s make this haunted house feel a little less haunted. by @joyful.parents

I updated my signature program last year with the New Pathways Protocol, because I get the feeling as a parent of a kid with big behaviours of…
-if taking things away doesn’t change their behaviour
-if yelling at them an lecturing them to not do it again isn’t working
-if a reward chart isn’t working
-if ignoring their behaviour isn’t working (plus how do you IGNORE agression?)

Then what the heck are we supposed to do to have a home where humans can cooperate and there is peace?

The answer is this. We help our kids build new pathways to behaviours that are pro-social (aka work for everyone, but also meet the need of the child).

The hardest truth is, your child doesn’t want to act like this either.
Creating new pathways IS possible, and now it’s even easier that I’ve included a simple routine in my program so you can help your kids do it!

Comment RELATE (or link in bio) to see the details. by @joyful.parents

Let’s talk about each of these things!

1) This is actually an offering that you could get a lot of mileage out of… When our kids say things like “I don’t want you to go!” that doesn’t leave anything for them to cope with. When we reframe it to “I feel sad” sadness is something they can cope with. This works for other things our kids say like “I don’t want to go to school.”

2) When we have secure attachment, we can bridge times being apart with objects or notes. I leave these NBSC around the house because they are things I say to them when I’m with them, AND they remind them of their loveability.

3) Similar to above, I leave them each one of my sweaters. Last time I left, they slept in them and wore them when they played. Scent can create instant feelings of safety so I spray my @clarityapothecary (Lovely scent) on them.

4) I have seen other accounts say “I was leaving and I prepped nothing because my husband should just figure it all out.” Nick and I are on the same team, so we did what we always do and talked through things together.

There were a few different things we know would be challenging for our daughter, so we made plans so they were less challenging. BUT we also focused on plans for helping her COPE if things didn’t go ‘perfectly’ which was FAR more important than a plan around “what if your bun isn’t perfect for dance?”

Both/and: BOTH, I genuinely and truly like my kids and like being around them. AND, I am so grateful to be on a trip with my friends! It does make it easier knowing I am setting them up for success. by @joyful.parents

You saw them hit. You know they hit.
So why do they stand there, arms crossed, denying it with every ounce of their being?
Why do they run to their room, slam the door, and refuse to speak?
Why do they hit again when you call them out on it?
💡 Because it is not defiance. It is shame.
Spicy kids feel everything deeply, including the gut punch of realizing they messed up. And when that shame rushes in, they go into protection mode.
❌ Deny.
💨 Run.
💥 Lash out.
Not because they do not care.
Because the feeling of “I am bad” is so overwhelming that their only goal becomes escaping it.
And here is the hard part.
The more they feel like the bad kid, the harder it is for them to make a different choice next time.
Shame does not teach. It shuts down.
🌱 But when you learn to see the shame underneath the behavior, everything shifts.
You can:
✨ Separate behavior from identity
✨ Hold the boundary without adding more shame
✨ Guide them through repair in a way that actually builds resilience
To learn more about how shame can be linked to behaviour, get the free checklist by hitting follow and commenting CHECK. by @joyful.parents

Ignoring the whining makes complete sense. It is loud, it is repetitive, and sometimes you just need a minute (we all do).

The most likely thing, though, is that the whine comes back in 5 seconds, or 5 minutes, and it is longer, because what your child needs is still unmet.
Meeting the need behind the whining can still come with a limit.
That is the third option, and it is what The Whining Warning Method teaches: a 3-step process for the first moments of the whine, so you are not choosing between ignoring it and exploding. You get real-life examples for chores, transitions and pushback, a Workshop Action Guide, lifetime replay and bonuses.
Monday is the last day to join.
If you are still reading, your kids are so lucky to have you 🩷
Comment WHINE and my chatbot will DM you the link. Or find the link in my bio. by @joyful.parents

If you pictured yourself as the patient, gentle parent, but don’t often feel like the calm confident leader, this is for you.

Holding a boundary while the whining is at full volume can feel like standing in front of a wave. Giving in can feel like the only way to get through the next minute (it makes sense!).

Kids need someone who gets what they are asking (actually asking for, and it’s often not about what they are saying) for AND someone who holds the line.

The earlier you meet the whine, the easier that can get. Pushback is one of the three situations I teach with real-life examples inside The Whining Warning Method, so the boundary can come from a steadier you, and a lot less shouting.
Lifetime replay and bonuses are included.
It’s available until Monday.
Comment WHINE and my chatbot will DM you the link. Or find the link in my bio. by @joyful.parents

Whining is the only one of those four signs that comes with a soundtrack, which also makes it the easiest one to catch early.

The overwhelm that seems to come out of nowhere, the meltdown over the wrong cup, the asking for reassurance over and over… there is often a whine somewhere before them. Not every time, but often enough that I built a whole method around it.

That is the HOW from the last slide. Inside The Whining Warning Method Workshop I teach a 3-step process for the first moments of the whine, so you can step in while your child can still hear you, instead of after the yelling, the giving in, or the meltdown.

You’ll learn what whining is telling you, what to do in those first few seconds (with real-life examples for chores, transitions and pushback), and how to feel less like you are bracing all day. Lifetime replay and bonuses are included.
Available until Monday!
Comment WHINE and my chatbot will DM you the link. Or find the link in my bio. by @joyful.parents

Somewhere along the way, whining started to feel like an emergency.

Something to fix RIGHT NOW so the day doesn’t fall apart. So the orange gets re-cut at record speed, the voice goes up a little, and everyone in the kitchen feels the rush.
That rush is love. It can also make a small moment feel like a big one.

What if there was a way to respond on purpose in those first few seconds, instead of racing to fix it? (which never really fixes it anyway).

That is what you learn inside The Whining Warning Method: a 3-step process that starts the second the whine does, so you feel steadier and a lot less like you are scrambling.
So the next orange can just be a snack!

You also get real-life examples, a Workshop Action Guide, lifetime replay and bonuses.
Available until Monday.

Comment WHINE and my chatbot will DM you the link. Or find the link in my bio. by @joyful.parents

Swapping the cereal is what a loving, worn out parent does when the whining starts.

It makes sense. You are buying quiet, and sometimes you even get it. Then the spoon is wrong, or the chair, or the shirt (“nooooot that one!!”), but the thing is… getting new bowl won’t fix what the whining was ACTUALLY about in the first place.

If you have ever resented the 4 different bowls you just handed over trying to find the ‘right one’, hi 😮‍💨

What I teach in The Whining Warning Method happens before the bowl swap. You learn what the whine is telling you and a 3-step way to respond in those first moments, so you aren’t stuck choosing between giving in and blowing up.

Inside you also get real-life examples for chores, transitions and pushback, a Workshop Action Guide so you aren’t trying to remember it all with a whine in your ear, lifetime replay and bonuses.

Available until Monday.
Comment WHINE and my chatbot will DM you the link. Or find the link in my bio. by @joyful.parents