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Jessica Stevens, LCSW | Anxiety Therapist

@licensed.and.lived

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🙃 Functioning on the outside, drowning on the inside
🫂 Finally feel understood, not just "fine"
🛋️ Anxiety therapist who's lived it too
👇Get unstuck

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It doesn’t seem that bad because it’s invisible on the outside…

🤍I’m curious, what are your invisible anxiety signs that nobody sees?

#anxiety #highfunctioninganxiety #overwhelm #invisiblestruggles #support by @licensed.and.lived

1. “I’m managing, but it’s a lot right now”
Honest without needing to explain everything.
2. “I’m okay, just need a minute”
Buys you space without shutting the conversation down.
3. “Today’s been heavy, but I’m handling it”
Names the truth while still sounding capable, because you are.
4. “I’m tired in a way sleep doesn’t fix”
Says the real thing when “tired” doesn’t cover it.
5. “I’m okay, just running on low battery”
Easy shorthand people actually understand.
6. “I don’t want to talk about it, but thank you for asking”
Sets a boundary without sounding cold.
7. “It’s not been my easiest week”
Soft enough to say to anyone, honest enough to mean something.
8. “I’m okay, just a lot going on in my head”
Names the internal noise without oversharing.
9. “I’m getting through it, one thing at a time”
Reframes surviving as something you’re actively doing, not failing at.
10. “Can I answer that later? I need a beat”
Gives you permission to not perform “fine” on the spot.
11. “I’m not at my best today, but I’m here”
Lowers the bar without disappearing from the conversation.
12. “Honestly? Not great. But I’m here”
Direct and specific, still reassuring in the same breath.

☑️Save this for the next time you need it and comment below which one you might use

Follow @licensed.and.lived for more tips like this!
#anxiety #overwhelmed #quietstruggles #overstimulated #highfunctioninganxiety by @licensed.and.lived

Common doesn’t mean “normal”….

I’m curious, what are your invisible anxiety signs people downplay as “normal” and don’t understand? Share below and follow @licensed.and.lived to feel validated for once!

#anxiety #highfunctioninganxiety #overwhelm #invisiblestruggles #support by @licensed.and.lived

High functioning anxiety can look like you have it all together, while inside you’re running a hundred miles an hour.

That constant vigilance, the mental planning, the emotional caretaking, never letting yourself be still... it takes a real toll. You’re running at full capacity all the time, so your nervous system never actually gets to rest 🥲

Here’s the good news: this pattern has roots. Therapy helps you understand where it started and build a new relationship with worry and control. You don’t have to live 10 steps ahead in your own head 💛

🛋️ If this sounds like you, I’m accepting new clients in New Jersey, Florida, Minnesota, and Massachusetts! Book a free intro call through my website in my bio! [www.jessicastevenslcsw.com]

☑️ Make sure to follow this account to finally get unstuck @licensed.and.lived

#highfunctioninganxiety #njtherapist #instagramtherapist #floridatherapist #therapysupport by @licensed.and.lived

High-functioning anxious women, what would you add?

“The more anxious we are, the more high-functioning we will make ourselves appear, which just encourages the world to lean on us more.”
Source: Sarah Wilson

This means high-functioning anxiety is not the same as being fine. It’s often the opposite. The more it hides, the more capable a woman looks on the outside, while the anxiety underneath keeps building because no one, including her, can see it clearly enough to name it.

It can look like being the calm one in every crisis while quietly falling apart inside. Saying yes when you mean no, because no feels unsafe. Reading every book and doing “the work,” and still feeling stuck. Hitting the goal and moving straight to the next one, because rest never feels earned. Looking completely fine while running on empty.

High-functioning anxiety can come with real exhaustion, especially when it’s invisible to everyone around you, including yourself. It can also come with sharp instincts, real competence, deep care for the people around you, and a drive that has carried you further than most people will ever know.

High-functioning anxious women, I see you. I am you. Follow @licensed.and.lived for someone who gets it and save this post as a reminder that calm was never proof that you were okay. 🤍

#therapistofinstagram #highfunctioninganxiety #highlysensitiveperson #anxious #anxiety by @licensed.and.lived

Maybe you don’t need to calm down. Maybe you need someone to understand why you can’t.

Because you’ve already read the books. Listened to the podcasts. Learned the coping skills. Maybe you’ve even been to therapy. And yet your mind still won’t let you rest.

You look capable. You get things done. Nobody would guess how exhausted you are from overthinking, anticipating, analyzing, and holding everything together behind the scenes.

So when someone tells you “just relax” or “it’s going to be okay,” it doesn’t help.

You don’t need another thing you already know you’re supposed to do. You need someone who understands why your nervous system keeps doing this and can help you create change that actually lasts.

That’s what you’ll find here. I’m a therapist who specializes in anxiety, and I’ve lived with it myself.

☑️ Follow me if you’re ready to finally feel understood and learn what actually helps @licensed.and.lived

#anxietytherapy #highfunctioninganxiety #anxiety #overwhelmed #anxietyhelp by @licensed.and.lived

You didn’t choose to be a control freak. You learned that certainty was the only thing that kept you safe.

Asking “why” a million times until your parents lost their sh**t? Overthinking, your nervous system needed to know exactly what was coming, and any change felt like the ground shifting.

Taking over the group project? Overachieving, you trusted your own hands more than anyone else’s, because if it wasn’t done your way, it might not get done right.

Needing your room exactly a certain way? Perfectionism, controlling your space was the one thing that felt controllable when everything else didn’t.

Assigning roles in pretend play and getting upset when someone improvised? Peacekeeping, if everyone followed the plan, nothing unpredictable could blindside you.

None of it was random. It all served a purpose, and over time it became who you are.

So next time you call yourself a “control freak”, ask yourself what you were really trying to protect.

👇Which one hits the most? Share below and follow @licensed.and.lived for more!

#controlfreak #therapist #therapistsofinstagram #highfunctioninganxiety #anxiety by @licensed.and.lived

It only looks like we’re overreacting because nobody sees the invisible reasons behind it...

Sometimes it’s a slow buildup that finally tips over.
Sometimes it’s your brain reading something small as a real threat and reacting to protect you. Either way, it makes sense.

💙I’m curious. What’s a moment people called overreacting that was really just your anxiety trying to protect you?

➡️ Follow @licensed.and.lived

#anxiety #highfunctioninganxiety #invisiblestruggles #overwhelm #support by @licensed.and.lived

These are honest without needing to explain everything ⬇️

1. Instead of sorry for texting so much, try, thanks for being patient with me.

2. Instead of sorry, this is probably dumb, try here’s an idea I want to share.

3. Instead of sorry I’m so much, try thank you for making room for me.

4. Instead of sorry can I ask you something, try I have a question.

5. Instead of sorry I know you’re busy, try when you have a minuteI’d love to talk.

6. Instead of sorry for being late, try thank you for waiting.

7. Instead of sorry I just need a minute, try I need a minute thank you for waiting.

8. Instead of sorry ignore me, try I just wanted to say that.

9. Instead of sorry I’ll stop talking, try, I’ll pause here.

10. Instead of sorry for the long message, try thanks for reading all of this.

11. Instead of sorry I disagree, try I see it differently.

12. Instead of sorry to bother you again, try thanks for making time for this.

☑️Save for the next time you need it and comment below which one you might use 👇

👥Follow @licensed.and.lived for more tips like this.

#highfunctioninganxiety #peoplepleaserproblems #assertiveness #anxietysupport #anxietytips by @licensed.and.lived

1. Sit still for 60 seconds before you open your laptop
No emails, no scrolling, just a beat to land in your body before the day takes over.
2. Check in with your hunger and thirst
A regulated nervous system starts with a fed, hydrated body.
3. Turn down the sensory noise
Soft lighting, loose clothes, hair off your neck. Ask: “what can I soften right now?”
4. Let one task be “good enough,” not perfect
70% effort still counts. Perfectionism is expensive.
5. Leave your phone in another room for 20 minutes
Distance from notifications lowers your baseline stress before you even notice it.
6. Run your wrists under cold water for 30 seconds
A fast way to interrupt spiraling thoughts and shock your system out of overdrive.
7. Lie flat on the floor, legs up the wall
Let gravity do the regulating. Your body doesn’t have to hold itself up for a minute.
8. Look at something far away
Horizon gazing relaxes your eye muscles and quiets an overstimulated brain.
9. Do a 10-minute brain dump
Get every open loop out of your head and onto paper. Pick one to act on, let the rest wait.
10. Swap “yes” for “let me get back to you”
Buying yourself time is a boundary, not a delay.
11. Do the bare minimum reset
Shower, snack, water, clean clothes. That’s a full win, not a failure.
12. Name 3 things you can see, 2 you can hear, 1 you can feel
Pulls your brain out of your head and back into the room you’re actually in.
13. Move slowly, not hard
A stretch, a wander, a sway. Soothing beats sweating when you’re this overstimulated.

#therapy #selfcare #selfawareness #therapistofinstagram #support by @licensed.and.lived

Say this ⬇️

1. “Honestly, it’s bothering me more than I expected.” Simple and honest, no big reveal needed.
2. “It’s a bigger deal than I’m making it sound.” Easy to say in passing, still true.
3. “I’m not totally fine, just handling it.” Keeps you functional while still being honest.
4. “It’s a lot, I’m just used to pushing through.” Acknowledges it without asking for help.
5. “I’m okay, but today’s harder than usual.” Low pressure, easy to say to anyone.
6. “It’s getting to me a little more than I’ve let on.” Small admission, still easy to say out loud.
7. “I’m managing, but I won’t pretend it’s nothing.” Mirrors the tone of your original winning phrase.
8. “It matters to me, even if it seems small.” Quick and simple, no explanation required.
9. “I’m not going to act like this doesn’t bother me anymore.” Easy boundary, no vulnerability required.
10. “It’s fine-ish, not actually fine.” Light, almost casual, still honest.
11. “I’m okay, just quieter about it than usual.” Easy to say without inviting a big conversation.
12. “It’s more than nothing, even if I’m still functioning.” Short and simple.

ℹ️You don’t have to say all of these at once. Pick one the next time you catch yourself brushing something off.

💙What do you usually say instead of admitting something’s a big deal? Let me know in the comments and follow @licensed.and.lived for more tips like these!

#highfunctioninganxiety #overwhelmed #overstimulated #therapistsofinstagram #support by @licensed.and.lived

I can guarantee you, you’re not the only one feeling this way.

👇What’s your worst symptom you’ve experienced?

#anxiety #anxietysupport #mentalhealth #anxious #anxietysymptoms by @licensed.and.lived