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Nuriman A. Faris | Artist + Writer

@nafaris

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Call me Iman ✦
Corporate creative + mom
Writing fantasy, making art & sharing the journey
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After Laith was stillborn, I was afraid to share what happened. I was fearful of upsetting people, making things awkward, and opening myself up for criticism.

Not talking about Laith felt like I was saying he never existed. That feeling outweighed my fear. Keeping him to myself was a disservice to him, to me, and our family. I want him to be remembered.

I’m sharing him today, on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day as a reminder that he existed. If you understand this type of grief, you are not alone.

I can’t mother Laith the way I do my living children. I’ll carry him with me for the rest of my life and I choose to share him every chance I get. It may not be much, but it’s all I have.

#stillbornstillloved #lifeafterloss #childloss #bereavedmother #waveoflight by @nafaris

In 2021, I lost any joy I felt. I descended into a deep depression. I spent my days and nights in bed. Food had no flavor. The world seemed colorless. I had never felt so broken.

I finally understood why some people turned to alcohol or drugs to escape the pain. I wished I could escape it too.

I thought I’d never feel better. It took years to get to a place where I could find joy again. Joy became my escape.

But I had to actively search for it.

First, it appeared to me in small glimmers. A butterfly. A ray of sunshine. A breeze in the air.

Then the joy buried its way into me. I hunted for it, noticing it everywhere I could.

Happiness is a practice.

It’s hard to remember not to let the hard days win. I still have hard days but the way I respond to them has changed.

#findingjoy #healingjourney❤️‍🩹 #stillbornstillloved #griefjourney #lifeafterloss by @nafaris

Some things fill my cup. Others just empty it 😂

Give me a good fantasy book, a hot cup of coffee, and a few uninterrupted hours to do something creative, and I’m in heaven.

Keeping up with the never ending chores? Absolutely not.

Between working full time, raising three kids, and managing a household, I’ve developed some very strong opinions about how I’d prefer to spend my free time.

Unfortunately, adulthood doesn’t seem particularly interested in my preferences.

If only I could trade my chore list for a TBR list. I’d be unstoppable!

What’s something you love doing that other people might find boring? And what’s one thing you’d happily never do again?

#creativemom #bookishlifestyle #relatablemomcontent #fantasyreader by @nafaris

I woke up in a flare, on Halloween of all days. I had all these grand ideas for how the day would go. They didn’t go as expected.

We got our family photo, even through the chaos.
There were exactly 3 toddler-sized tantrums before trick-or-treating.
I pushed myself past my limit walking the neighborhood.
We returned home earlier than expected.
The kids sifted through their haul, which was less than last year’s.

I felt disappointed, wishing I could’ve done more this year. I asked them if they had fun and was met with a resounding YES.

Despite not meeting my own expectations, the kids had a blast! They didn’t care about the chaos or their mom slowly trailing behind them. They didn’t need a bigger candy haul…

They just needed us to have fun with them 🥹

#chronicillnessmom #halloweenwithkids #makingmemoriestogether #pokemonhalloween by @nafaris

Hard days have a way of making you forget that better days are ahead.

In the midst of managing an autoimmune disease, working in bed, a slew of appointments, finding out I may need back surgery, some days I’m too tired to do anything.

On my hard days, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get back to laughing with family, enjoy ordinary afternoons, or having enough energy to do what I love. Life may never return to what it previously was, but it can still get better.

Don’t let a bad moment dictate your story, especially when it’s still being written.

#chronicillnessjourney #livingwithchronicpain #healingisnotlinear #healingjourneys by @nafaris

For years, the only thing I read was self-help and nonfiction books. I forgot what it felt like to read for pleasure.

As a kid, I would get absorbed in a good story. I’m not sure when I lost that…

Then I found A Court of Thorns and Roses, a book I had no idea would transform me. What started with one book turned into 5, then 10, and led to hundreds more!

I’m in love with reading again, but not just any books, ones that tug on my heartstrings and have me grappling with the human condition.

I didn’t just discover a new series. I rediscovered an experience I’d lost touch with. Thank you, Sarah, for bringing out my inner child again.

#acotar #acosh #romantasybookstagram #fantasyreader #readingforpleasure by @nafaris

It’s the time and energy it takes to bring those ideas to life. Between school events, holiday planning, maintaining the house, and taking care of my health, I’m drowning in responsibilities.

After the kids are asleep, I make my son’s lunch and get everything ready for the next day. I sit down and I’M DONE.

At the end of the day, I’m too exhausted to actually work toward my dreams… it’s honestly the last thing I want to do.

Instead, I go to sleep, because that’s what I need. I know I don’t function at my best if I don’t rest. Being tired means I write poorly, my art is horrendous, and I don’t think clearly. Combine all of these, and you’ll just get one tired, unproductive, and frustrated mama.

I have to remind myself that I create my own timeline. Sometimes it means I work at a slower pace and other times, I knock it out of the park in a day.

#creativejourney #creativemom #creativemotherhood #createdtocreate #writersjourney by @nafaris

Making friends as an adult feels a little like online dating.

You search for people with similar interests, connect virtually, and hope something sticks. But finding people you can actually spend time with IRL? That’s a whole different challenge, especially for an introvert.

When I joined Jun Yuh’s Storytelling Challenge, I thought maybe I’d make a few virtual friends who shared my interest in storytelling. That was the extent of my expectations.

Somehow, I ended up in a Malaysia group chat with fellow creators. Then I got a DM from a group member asking if I lived in Austin.

Turns out, she also lives in the Austin area!

Now I have a fellow mom friend who’s a chronic illness girlie with a semi-crunchy side, and she just gets me.

I joined hoping to find a little community online. I never expected to find someone I could actually meet for coffee.

Finding my people turned out to be so much better than I expected ♥️

#momfriend #adultfriendships #creativeconnections #austincontentcreator by @nafaris

As a mom, there’s a persistent fear that I’m not enough. Not present enough. Not patient enough.

Did they see the struggle?
Did they notice the long hours and time away?
Were they scared the times I lost my temper?

Or…

Do they see a mother who works hard to build a beautiful life?
A mom that sacrifices to make their childhood magical?
Someone who’s figuring out life while healing?

I love being a mom to all my babies, including the ones that aren’t here. I want my children to watch me make mistakes, express myself, share my feelings, and pursue my dreams. I hope I make them proud.

#morethanamom #bereavedmom #lifeofamom #creativemama #lifeinprogress by @nafaris

Every day looks the same, and then I ask myself, “What did I do with my time?”

Morning pages, take my son to school, appointments, work, let the dogs out, eat, clean, and spend time with family, just to go to sleep and start it over again the next day.

My days bleed into one another. So I remind myself why I choose to spend my time doing what it is I’m doing.

I do morning pages because it helps me make room for creativity.
I take my son to school because his education matters to me.
I go to chiro 3x week because my health is important.
I work so I can support my family in every way that matters.
I care for my dogs because I’m the best part of their day.
I cook because I’m setting a foundation for my family to build healthy habits.
I clean so I can feel at peace in my home.
I spend time with my family because I don’t want to miss a moment of their lives.

In some ways I find meaning in all of it, despite how monotonous my days feel. I can be at peace with this season of my life and still want it to change.

#intentionalliving #creativemotherhood #findingyourselfagain #findingjoyeveryday by @nafaris

I’ve dealt with back pain since I was 12. I haven’t had a pain free day since I was in my late 20’s.

I’ve had steroid injections, been on medication, done PT, had chiropractic care through the years, and it didn’t prevent the degeneration.

It wasn’t wasted effort. I can only imagine where I’d be had I not done any of that.

Now I’m faced with the reality of surgery.

I want a better quality of life. I want to be able to play with my kids, walk without pain, move my body without fear, be able to strength train, and be productive without having to pause every 15 minutes.

Last year, I thought my SpA diagnosis explained my back pain but it was only part of the equation.

This year, I’m discovering so much more about myself and my body. It’s gotten me this far and hasn’t quit on me yet.

I’m weighing out my options. This is not a derailment.

I’m not giving up when life interupts my plans, I’m learning to ebb and flow with whatever it throws at me.

#chronicpain #chronicbackpain #degenerativediscdisease #spinalstenosis #herniateddisc by @nafaris

1️⃣ I believe sharing big plans or goals jinxes them, and life will throw something bigger my way.

2️⃣ I have hundreds of books on my TBR and keep buying more. I’m a sucker for a good deal.

3️⃣ I won’t draw in front of people and will wait for them to leave the room before I continue.

4️⃣ I pretend I read Twilight as a teen so people won’t think I was weird reading it as an adult.

5️⃣ I went into thousands of dollars of debt buying Pokemon cards, and I’m still paying it off.

6️⃣ I write everything down because I have a terrible memory, post-its everywhere.

7️⃣ I had a high school crush on my now husband, but I thought he was just a jock.

8️⃣ I cried in front of my college painting professor because my figure paintings were so bad.

9️⃣ I wrote fan fiction called Daredevil’s Dimension at 13, crossing X-Men, Final Fantasy, and X-Files together.

1️⃣0️⃣ I wanted Alaska for my honeymoon, but my husband insisted on somewhere warm.

Each one of these seemingly random facts are tied together by my fear of judgement. The things that once made me feel embarassed are now part of who I am and what makes me interesting.

#artistsupportartists #creativejourney #creativemom #fantasywritersofinstagram #yafantasywriter by @nafaris