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natalie ⏾⋆.˚

@nat_traynor

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the single greatest, happiest night of my life, i think! if you know me even a teeny bit you probably know this is the most unreal thing i could have ever imagined, and i was sitting there thinking i was going to drop dead. still on cloud 9 all the way home ☁️🫧☀️ by @nat_traynor
three years of me + the one i love most :) there will never be enough time to have spent w/ you 💗 by @nat_traynor
in the midst of everyone’s very aesthetic (and very beautiful) year recap posts, i was thinking about what i was going to send this year off with, and it didn’t feel exactly authentic to my experience to draft up one quite like that… 2025 was not exactly my year. i don’t think i’ve ever in my life felt farther away from my sense of self or less sure of who i was. often i would look in the mirror and not recognize who looked back- i would say something and not hear my voice as my own, but as someone else speaking through me. i felt like a shell of a human. i grieved myself like a death. i can only imagine i became an unrecognizable person to those around me, too. i hate to think of all the conversations people have had about me about how i’ve “changed”. it frustrated me to not be able to pinpoint a moment where it all went wrong, to decipher where ‘i’ went, and i started looking for reasons why i felt so lost, started blaming the loss of my ‘spark’ on anything i could think of. i suppose i never came up with anything definitive, because im still not really sure about any of those. i think i was probably hoping to have it figured out by today, to go into 2026 with some sense of peace that i’d found myself again. i don’t think i exactly have that. but i do think i’ve found a different kind of peace in that i’ve accepted being a different person now, as long as i am just as kind and just as resilient. i think those are some of the only things i’ve managed to hold onto. my goal shrunk from chasing down that version of “me” trying to get her back, to honoring a teeny tiny version of me (pictured! 🫶) and just being someone she would think was pretty cool. i’m also trying to focus on some things i really am proud of that i’ve sorta minimized all year: i became a licensed cosmetologist this year, i assistant music directed another show, i moved across the country into my very first apartment! i’m really, really trying to focus on all that. and, to welcome 2026 as who i am now! even if i am a completely new one, i am a very very grateful girl! my heart is very very full 🩷 (and thank goodness it wasn’t ALL bad… so i’ll share a few pics too <3) by @nat_traynor
365 days except not actually bc it was a leap year … i love you a little more each one of them :) 💕 by @nat_traynor
didn’t mean to not post for 7 months lol … by @nat_traynor
big woods enjoyer by @nat_traynor
“your confidence will lead you to success” -the fortune from a panda express cookie that i’ve kept in my phone case for months thank u everyone for the most wonderful and welcoming experience at mhs :) thank u for giving a silly arizona girl a chance and letting me thrive! i love u all so so much and can’t wait for what’s next! by @nat_traynor
life is short, the world is wide, and i want to make some memories 💙🪩 goodbye donna :) you have been the most special, the most fulfilling, the most lovely, and the most hard to say goodbye to- other than my incredible friends who i’ve been SO lucky to share this last show with and learn from and be supported by. i love you all endlessly and forever by @nat_traynor
thank u shan for getting the dj to celebrate me being prom queen (⁉️) by playing fireball 💙 by @nat_traynor
i’m not seventeen anymore… but i sure was a dancing queen by @nat_traynor
ladies and gentlemen… miss medda larkin 💜🩵 by @nat_traynor
baby’s first #seniorsunday by @nat_traynor

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