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I've had a bit of a shit show rough time with accepting some realities lately. Lots of things happened that really triggered my scarcity fears, my rejection sensitivity dysphoria, and a lot of old brain patterns I'm learning how to overcome. I won't get into details or this will become the post that never ends, but I was not in a good place, slowly getting worse for the last few weeks. Functioning, but having a lot emotional swings, a lot of shame, a lot of anger, a lot of wanting to run from my emotions because they were just SO big. I was in an “I can't” spiral of unworthiness. There was an I can't for everything.
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Today something cool happened. The other day, I noticed there was ecstatic dance today and felt a big desire to go because it's been a while and I really could use some RELEASE. My thoughts: why are they having it outside right now? It's too hot. I can't go anyways because I have to clean my Airbnb that day.
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I let it go and chose to clean my bnb because earning money is important to me right now and somehow I was really happy about fixing up a lot of things at my property (normally I'm grumbly about all the work and the lack of reward I've gotten from it and resent going) because I was grateful to have some income to come back to after 20 days in Cali overspending.
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At 3:30, I was starting to get tired/bored/lose interest and have the brain go down the usual negative neuropathways and I happened upon an update from Sol Dance that they changed the time to 4 pm! They changed the time? I got momentarily excited, but quickly beaten down with the same can't thoughts. Ready to see how the Universe worked for me?
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Story Continued in comments!!!!!
Video credits: @_mayarosa_ @rarebirdflutes @elliceboone stole them hope it's okay!! Didn't have any good ones!
Face paint credit: @art.by.bruna
#soldancemovement #ecstaticdance #healingjourneys #emotionalrelease #universeprovides #thereisonlylove #outdoordance #loveisallyouneed #shemovesmountains #autoimmunewarrior #danceyourheartout
3 years agojoanna.beugnon
That's wonderful!! I'm so glad you got to soulful dance!! That's your healing power!! 🔥💃❤️ Wishing you continued healing!! 🙏❤
3 years agoilcoachzen
Haha when you desire a thing but don't think about it, you gotta get it my friend! No fears can't resist to it! Well done...and have fun sister! @advenchatera
3 years agoadvenchatera
3. I was given the discounted price! . How cool is that? Well, I'm still not done... I walk in and a ton of people got this fun face paint on today and I am feeling a little jelly because remember sentence #1? And how I just decided I'll wear the outfit next time and showed up as is so I wouldn't miss out? GUESS WHO GOT HER FACE PAINTED and the colors and glitter and design she did made me feel like a beautiful sparkly princess. . Literally the red carpet opened for me and I was meant to be there today. And it felt so damn good. . Not only that, for funsies I pulled a card from the many community card decks there and it was spot on accurate about my current circumstances and compared me to a Volcano. Which is what I feel like when my anger is triggered cuz I can REALLY explode and I usually try to run and hide because I feel shame for getting that angry at people I love. But reading the card and thinking about the I Lava You volcano short film, I realized I kinda like being a volcano. Cuz I'm out there calling in my volcano sweetheart. :D . I have a dream... I hope will come true that you're here with me and I'm here with you....I LAVA YOU :) Thank you @soldancemovement for another fabulous ecstatic dance event. @iar.daniel for the delicious cacao offering <3 and @art.by.bruna for making me feel pretty! :) Thank you to the aforementioned for letting me steal your videos so I had something to share. And my outfit is the first two clips, so my IG is consistent with similar content. The next clips are what it's like to come sol dance!! And the last is the beautiful make up I ended up with!
3 years agoadvenchatera
2. Cont...“I can't make it. It's 3:30 already and at least a 30 minute drive and I'm not done cleaning yet. And then I have to go home first because I really wanted to wear my cute new hippie outfit the next time I sol dance so I can feel super pretty and fun and flowy and I'm dressed in this boring old tank top and not cute at all right now.” <(#1 Hang onto this sentence right here!) . A whisper/feeling: *Come as you are..* . “Ok but even if I go in this outfit, I still have to go home first. I gotta take all this leftover food and drinks home too and it's so hot in the car. I wouldn't get there til at least 5 and that's if I push it. I can't spend $25 on that right now or show up that late. I don't want to spend more than the early bird price, especially if I will miss some of it. <(#2 Hang on to that sentence right there!) Can I even show up late? What if they're done with the booth? I can't.“ . *Come as you are.* . “Ok, I could finish up in 30 minutes here and if I drove straight there, I'd only miss the intro, that's not a big deal. Oh, I guess all I have is alcohol and dried snacks, those won't go bad in the car.” . “Oh, but I don't have anything to sit on. And I'm hungry and I'm definitely gonna need to go home for my electrolytes. It's so hot outside! I'm not going to be okay with just water. I better not go.” . “Oh wait! I have a yoga mat in my car. And I have these snacks my guests left behind. OMG AND THEY LEFT GATORADE TOO! I forgot.” . “Hmm.. But how am I going to carry all this?? Oh wait! I have a reusable grocery bag in my car I just added recently because Sprouts started charging for bags.” . “Holy crap! I can do this. Ok. I'm going to go! Sucks I didn't get that early bird ticket, I really don't want to overspend right now.” . Boom. Boom. Boom. Problems working out one after the other! Ready for more?? . I pull up and park immediately, walk to the booth, and remember sentence #2? Before I could even ask if there was any chance they'd kindly offer a lower priced ticket today, the ticket girl reaches out and has a girl standing right next to her who had TWO EARLY BIRD TICKETS and was trying to get rid of one because her friend couldn't make it.
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