Zoey Shim, BSc., Dip.Ed., MSc.

When you drudge through fire, real, raging, chaotic, smoldering, scorching fire, there is few, if any, that can understand the degree of your burn.
I've withdrawn, I've lost interest, I've stopped accommodating, I've simply stopped, even unintentionally.

The last few months have been a microcosm of what my last few years have looked like...views from laying down...
- laying down on the bus for countless trips to & from kingston all for "endometriosis specialists", only to tell me that I could not be helped, in Kingston, in Jamaica, in the Caribbean...
- laying down in medical stirrups to be painfully poked, prodded, exposed, just to NOT be believed that it's as bad as I feel
-laying down in a hospital bed, in a country unfamiliar to me, out of desperation but fortunately where I got real help (dare I mention the countless laying down in a&e's for severe pain flares)
-laying down to recover from 3 major surgeries done all in one go
-laying down to heal emotionally, physically
-laying down to mourn the loss of even more pelvic muscles, the loss of an ovary, the loss of my uterus, the loss of all the children I wanted but will never have
- laying down to allow the reality of being so close to death sink in due to the negligence of "specialists" I trusted to guide me, help me
-laying down and watching life happen, not actively participating but sending well wishes
-laying down to watch my 16th, 17th, 18th, 19th, 20th & 21st scars on my belly distort me further, never giving away just how much has been taken, despite my best efforts and all my finances

All while smiling & nodding my way through socials, work, as best as I could, can and will?

There's A LOT more laying down to be had, before I can even begin to get back up again.
Slowly but surely, with lots of grace and plenty patience, it will happen. Eventually.
The best part...I'M IN NO RUSH

#endometriosisSUCKS #endometriosis #frozenpelvis #endowarrior #hysterectomy #oopherectomy #excisionsurgery #healing