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Zoey Shim, BSc., Dip.Ed., MSc.

@afronerd405

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Counselling/ Educational Psychologist
I love what I do & I do what I love while living w/ Stage IV Endometriosis #afronerd

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Happy birthday to @afronerd405 !!!
I’ve known her since I was 10 years old.
She is artsy.
She is whimsy.
She is reliable.
She is enduring.
She is kind.
She is imaginative.
She sings (much to my chagrin).
She is hilarious.
She is an excellent clinical psychologist.
She is a endo warrior and public speaker.
She watches my six.
She is my confidant.
She has seen every version of me.

So please join me in celebrating a real one today. May your coffee be amazing, may your sprite be extra crisp, may your days be filled with laughter, and your year ahead filled with continued joy.

#earthstrong
#whimsy
#38 by @afronerd405

More often than not, I feel like I’ve been away for the last 10 years.

People see me out and ask, “What have you been up to? I haven’t seen you in sooo long…” … do I give them the awkward truth or be politely mysterious???

I've lost my footing. Physically, emotionally, especially socially.

Several surgeries later, non stop physiotherapy, medication, rest, sleep YET I’m still navigating chronic pain, flare-ups, uncertainty, and the fun little game of “Should I commit to plans or will my body humble me?”

Still trying
Still recovering
Still healing
Still mourning

But also now actively seeking pockets of peace, joy, and real connection.

#endometriosisSucks #fullHysterectomy #chronicpain by @afronerd405

Yet another surgery for endometriosis.
This one took my last ovary.

What it didn’t take? My RESILIENCE & HUMOR.

I’m now navigating;
◇Surgically induced menopause (no research prepared for this mess)
◇Re-starting physiotherapy for the 7TH TIME
Learning to love/embrace my scars (all 13 of them now)
◇Figuring out life with nerve damage
◇Loving on my village (I wouldn't be here if not for their unending love, prayers, presence & support)
◇Learning to thrive, not survive
◇Resting not only because I need to but because I want to
◇Investing in experiences that make my soul smile

— a season I didn’t plan for, but one I’ll meet with honesty, gratitude, openness, strength, and a little (a lot of) humor because sometimes that’s the only way through.

The hard way & the right way are rarely different.

One body. Many battles. Still here.

#endometriosisSucks #💛endometriosis #islandlife #psychology #chronicillness by @afronerd405

The holidays are hard for many, despite being flooded with everyone's matching outfits, achievements and their exponential gratitude...

2025 was hard, on so many levels... and then a whole hurricane happened! on top of everything else.

If all you did for 2025 was survive, that's plenty.

If you are wishing/hoping/begging/praying to not be put back on God's strongest soldiers list, AGAIN, you ain't alone. It's hard not to greet the new year with trepidation.

I hope 2026 is good to us all....what that looks like to me is:
*there is time to hold space for all feelings, truths
*there is room to rest, recover, restore on all levels
*there is confidence in setting & holding boundaries that prevents you from abandoning one's self
*there are healthy connections that are enjoyed, savoured & appreciated
*that solutions are achievable when the challenges do happen

I pray we all find a way to THRIVE, not just survive.
#2025sucked #hopefor2026 #afronerd #psychology #endometriosisStillsucks by @afronerd405

by @afronerd405

When you drudge through fire, real, raging, chaotic, smoldering, scorching fire, there is few, if any, that can understand the degree of your burn.
I've withdrawn, I've lost interest, I've stopped accommodating, I've simply stopped, even unintentionally.

The last few months have been a microcosm of what my last few years have looked like...views from laying down...
- laying down on the bus for countless trips to & from kingston all for "endometriosis specialists", only to tell me that I could not be helped, in Kingston, in Jamaica, in the Caribbean...
- laying down in medical stirrups to be painfully poked, prodded, exposed, just to NOT be believed that it's as bad as I feel
-laying down in a hospital bed, in a country unfamiliar to me, out of desperation but fortunately where I got real help (dare I mention the countless laying down in a&e's for severe pain flares)
-laying down to recover from 3 major surgeries done all in one go
-laying down to heal emotionally, physically
-laying down to mourn the loss of even more pelvic muscles, the loss of an ovary, the loss of my uterus, the loss of all the children I wanted but will never have
- laying down to allow the reality of being so close to death sink in due to the negligence of "specialists" I trusted to guide me, help me
-laying down and watching life happen, not actively participating but sending well wishes
-laying down to watch my 16th, 17th, 18th, 19th, 20th & 21st scars on my belly distort me further, never giving away just how much has been taken, despite my best efforts and all my finances

All while smiling & nodding my way through socials, work, as best as I could, can and will?

There's A LOT more laying down to be had, before I can even begin to get back up again.
Slowly but surely, with lots of grace and plenty patience, it will happen. Eventually.
The best part...I'M IN NO RUSH

#endometriosisSUCKS #endometriosis #frozenpelvis #endowarrior #hysterectomy #oopherectomy #excisionsurgery #healing by @afronerd405

I miss the body I had before Endometriosis consumed it...
Not just for the aesthetics (cuz well that was Great too) but more so for it's function...
I could work several jobs effortlessly
I could climb the Blue Mountain (literally x3)
I could do anything without pain being the consequence.
In retrospect, I realize I felt comfortable in my own skin, dare I say even confident.

Pain, surgeries, medications, shots... distorts not only the body but also the mind.
With every measure taken to remain "functional", there's a wave of grief that hits.
Then a wave of hiding, so I can seek out what remains of old me.
Then a forced crash course of learning to embrace the ever changing me. ....well embrace is a strong term lol

I'm grateful for the journey
Grateful that I have a chance to keep trying
Grateful that I get to choose to love me
Grateful that through it all, I still like me

#endosucks #Endometriosis #endometriosisawarenessmonth #afronerd #psychology #chronicillness #pain #1in10 #yellow by @afronerd405

Art is healing... the colors, music, the mindful focus required...best part, you can't mess it up.
#selfcare #paintoutsidethelines #art #afronerd #hobby by @afronerd405

St Vincent & the Grenadines, you have a special place in my heart #island gyal by @afronerd405

New bling (pendants): I am both my GRANDmothers wildest dreams come true...
Slide 2: Lucille Bygrave, my maternal grandmother, passed away recently at 96 yrs old, pendants on the longer chain are each over 70 yrs old

Slide 3: Violet Shim, my paternal grandmother, although she's passed away over 20yrs ago, I remember her vividly. Her jade pendants, round one seen in that pic, which I now wear are over 70yrs old also.

Slide 4: over 140yrs of life, wisdom, courage, protection & grace around my neck. There's a joy + pride + groundation that comes with knowing who you are from, so I can take it that much farther...

#love #grief #family #groundation #personalHistory #psychology #amen #selah #om

Fun fact: those are pics of my grannies taken when they were around my age! by @afronerd405

When's the last time you've taken a basic picture of yourself and said " wow, you are lovely!"? No filter, no good angle, no props.
When's the last time you've looked at yourself and only saw the glorious, powerful self that is YOU?
Have you ever celebrated the "flaws"?

It's easy to only see with the critical lens of what you should look like, what you used to look like, what you could look like. By extension it reverberates into how we assess our lives... I should have been here by now, I should be doing this now, I should have stopped that by now....

Radical acceptance is embracing the reality of what is, without polluting it with your opinion of what you think it "should" be, nor labelling it as "good" or "bad".

It just is.

Radical acceptance also leaves space to mourn what you would have wanted and give that part of you space to feel but not enough to let that thrive.

March was Endometriosis Awareness Month, this week is National Infertility Awareness Week.
I should have done more to contribute to those spaces. I should have been a "success" story by now, to confirm that it's all indeed worth it once you have your little ones earth side/ the pain somehow subsided.

My reality isn't so & that's just how it is.

The reality is, I have pain but I've learned to still live life with it.
The reality is, I'm still childless but enjoying the freedom & independence that comes with it.
The reality is I didn't do more for these causes I'm so very passionate about but the few who have reached out to me, I pray I make a difference and they feel seen, heard & supported.

I feel a peace & a wisdom as I've learnt to embrace ALL that is me. I give myself the space to live out all and every aspect of life from my various pointS of view.

I see the "good"/"bad" of my reality & choose to not burden it with what I think it "should" be.
Try it out for yourself/ link me if you want help getting started in lifting the critical lens.

#endometriosis #psychology #nationalinfertilityawarenessweek #infertility #radicalacceptance #livinglifedespite #afronerd #chronicillness #buddhism #om #peace #growth by @afronerd405

by @afronerd405