1️⃣ Gaslighting: “You’re fine, stop overreacting.”
Respectful: “I see this is really upsetting for you—how can I help?”
2️⃣ Gaslighting: “You’d do better if you just tried harder.”
Respectful: “Let’s figure out how we can break this task down together.”
3️⃣ Gaslighting: “We talked about this—how could you forget?”
Respectful: “It’s hard to remember things sometimes. Let’s create a reminder.”
4️⃣ Gaslighting: “You’re just being lazy.”
Respectful: “This task seems really tough for you—what can we do to get started?”
5️⃣ Gaslighting: “You always forget everything.”
Respectful: “It’s hard to keep things in your head—would it help to write it down?”
6️⃣ Gaslighting: “You’re too emotional.”
Respectful: “I see you’re feeling really big emotions right now. Let’s take a moment to calm down together.”
7️⃣ Gaslighting: “You never listen to me!”
Respectful: “I feel frustrated because I don’t feel heard. Let’s try this again together.”
8️⃣ Gaslighting: “You’re making excuses.”
Respectful: “I know this is hard for you. Let’s talk about what’s getting in the way.”
9️⃣ Gaslighting: “You’re always distracted.”
Respectful: “I notice you’re having trouble focusing—let’s take a break and try again.”
🔟 Gaslighting: “You’re imagining things.”
Respectful: “I didn’t see it that way, but I want to understand your perspective better.”
When kids with ADHD are met with understanding instead of dismissal, they learn to trust themselves and communicate openly. This builds their self-esteem and emotional regulation skills.
💛 Want to learn more strategies to create calm and connection with your ADHD child? Join my Quiet the Chaos program - see link in bio!
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a year agojana.wings.to.fly
I "liked" this post. But, YOU, are absolutely right. While some of the verbage is the same, the intention is very different.
a year agocalaisv
One of my parents favourites was "you're acting like uncle "x" " for when i supposedly acting out.. (my uncle was a violent man who assaulted my parents)
a year agobehavior_wise
This is such a powerful list! Validation can be a game-changer for kids with ADHD. In our work, we’ve seen how quickly self-esteem and trust grow when kids feel truly heard, especially in moments of struggle. These respectful reframes model the kind of emotional safety every child deserves.
a year agobeyouwithjp
Is it me or the real difference between the "gaslighting phrase" and alternative is exhaustion???
a year agowhats_my_aesthetic69
My step dad will always get extremely mad at me for little things and when I explain he says "god attie, always with your excuses. Don't lie to me. Man up"
a year agosarahprude
This is not gaslighting. Gaslighting by definition, is manipulation — it is a form where you manipulate someone (intentionally) to doubt their sanity. So saying that you are “unknowingly gaslighting” is actually not possible. I’m all about what you are saying but let’s call it something else, not gaslighting.
2 years agomaerjohn9
Don’t use words you don’t understand. “Gaslighting” is not what you’re giving examples of here.
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