hailey 🌸

hey, it’s been a while….

some of you may already know that i lost my mum to pancreatic cancer in december. life has changed so much since, it can be really horrible sometimes - maybe even most of the time. there’s no ‘moving on’, but i’m slowly learning to live with the grief day by day.

in my head, life splits into two parts: pre-death and post-death. i don’t feel like the same person anymore, and it felt strange to keep posting as if i were. in starting fresh, i’m hoping to be more vulnerable about how grief shows up in my life, not just when i’m sad, but in the small and unexpected ways as well.

to be clear, i’m not looking for pity (everyone’s parents are going to die anyway) but i’d like to make it easier to talk about. grief can be so isolating at this age, so i’m especially grateful for the friends who keep asking questions, trying to understand and checking in.

today is my mum’s birthday, and by some magic, also the day that pancreatic cancer uk is the official charity for the london marathon!!! not that i can run.

happy birthday, mum. i miss you more and more every day 🌷