10 months ago
36
4
Posted On: October 6th 2025, 09:36 pm
This October mom passed away 8 years ago. Eight years feels like a lifetime ago at this point. I can hardly believe it. Some memories have faded. I see pictures of mom, but in my mind’s eye I can’t see her face the way that I used to. She was a singer and we have recordings of her shows and concerts but I can’t hear her talking to me in her normal speaking voice anymore. Once in a while in dreams I see and hear her the way she was but not when attempting to recall a memory like in those early years after she passed away. The passage of time has been a healing balm when it comes to death and loss, but it has also been a thief in the night. Memories I had stored away have just vanished.
Which makes this so sweet: One of the most precious ways that I have felt comforted and seen in grief over the death of my mother is when friends, even strangers help me remember her. Like when people remember the anniversary of her passing, when they recall a personal memory they have of her or simply ask, “What do you remember about her?” Even more specifically, if someone offers a memory of me with my mom as a child. That is such a delight to me because now as a mother myself I understand that a mother is the primary memory holder of a child’s youth. And so my mom was for me. Now that’s she’s gone only those who also witnessed those early days can say stuff like, “Sarah, your daughter looks like you! I remember when you were a little girl...” Things I want my mom to say to me, ya know?
Often I think that death, loss and grief seem like scary and unapproachable topics if you haven’t yet walked through it. But don’t be afraid. If you have a friend who’s lost a parent, family member, close friend, etc. I want to encourage you that this topic is likely a point of real meaningful connection if you have the courage to ask even the simplest of questions. So be fearless in friendship today pals. My mom was! And that’s one of the many reasons she was so beloved.
Love you mom.
Which makes this so sweet: One of the most precious ways that I have felt comforted and seen in grief over the death of my mother is when friends, even strangers help me remember her. Like when people remember the anniversary of her passing, when they recall a personal memory they have of her or simply ask, “What do you remember about her?” Even more specifically, if someone offers a memory of me with my mom as a child. That is such a delight to me because now as a mother myself I understand that a mother is the primary memory holder of a child’s youth. And so my mom was for me. Now that’s she’s gone only those who also witnessed those early days can say stuff like, “Sarah, your daughter looks like you! I remember when you were a little girl...” Things I want my mom to say to me, ya know?
Often I think that death, loss and grief seem like scary and unapproachable topics if you haven’t yet walked through it. But don’t be afraid. If you have a friend who’s lost a parent, family member, close friend, etc. I want to encourage you that this topic is likely a point of real meaningful connection if you have the courage to ask even the simplest of questions. So be fearless in friendship today pals. My mom was! And that’s one of the many reasons she was so beloved.
Love you mom.
Comments (4)
10 months agolibsguide
Thinking of you always this time of year. And think of your mom so often. She made a mark on my life! Xoxo
10 months agoshaelyntraeger
So beautifully said. I love when I see people on the other side of this earth in my dreams. Love you, Sarah. Truly, I can not wait to meet your mama one day 😘
10 months agonaturalbeaut11
I think of your mother often. Out the middle of nowhere I recall songs that she sang in church. I even started a playlist of songs that I heard her sing in church over the years. I also remember such joy she had while singing and praising the Lord. I always wanted that joy that she had about God. It was clearly evident. I didn’t understand it until a year or two ago. I get it now. I’m so thankful for her life and the example of who God was to her.
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