𓂀𓋹𓂀𓆃

it’s time i finally share this.

most of you know chips. a lot of you watched him grow up with me over the last 10 years. if you know me, you knew him. we were a packaged deal. if he wasn’t welcome, neither was i.

last year, one month after his 10th birthday, my life changed forever.

my dad was walking him off leash, like he often did, when a loose coyote appeared. chips chased it onto the 45mph river road. the coyote made it past a vehicle, chips didn’t. he was struck and died instantly.

i’ll never forget getting that phone call.

nothing prepared me for what i heard next, “chips is dead! chips is dead!”

my heart shattered. my biggest fear came true. i immediately drove to where it happened. his spirit had already left his body. i spent the next 36 hours with him before having him cremated. i placed him into the machine. i pushed the button. i was with him until the absolute end. i cried nonstop. i screamed. i talked to him. i smoked a pack of cigarettes trying to slow my breathing as blood dripped out of his nose. i was in shock. nothing made sense. it was a nightmare.

for a long time i didn’t know what to do with myself. i took off. i never looked back. i stayed as busy as i could. but eventually i slowed down and the emotions poured out. days turned into weeks. weeks turned into months. i cried myself to sleep over and over.

chips was more than just a dog.

he was my best friend.

my support system.

my adventure buddy.

my shadow.

my god. i worshipped him.

he was there through some of the hardest and happiest moments of my life.

it’s now been 13 months.

i still miss him every single day.

but something has changed.

the pain that once completely consumed me has slowly turned into gratitude.

gratitude that out of all the dogs in the world… we chose each other.

if you’ve lost a pet, i understand.

i know how empty it feels.

i know how quiet it gets.

i know what it’s like to reach for them before realizing they’re not physically there anymore.

once connected, always connected.

our babies never stop being a part of us. that love never disappears.

thank you for my life, chips.

i love you FURever. ❤️🐾💫