Willow Tree Holistic Healing

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life.

Twenty four years.

Ten years without you, and somehow this day still stops me in my tracks.

People say, “Happy Anniversary,” and I never quite know how to answer.

Is it happy?

It is because I got to love you.

And it’s heartbreaking because we were supposed to have so many more anniversaries.

I think that’s what grief is. Learning that two completely opposite things can exist in the same heart at the same time.

People often tell me I’ve found purpose in my pain.

They’re right.

Every family I sit with, every hand I hold, every conversation about love, loss, and letting go… you’re there. Our story is there. Loving you and losing you changed the course of my life. I know I wouldn’t be the woman I am today, or do the work I feel so deeply called to do, if I hadn’t walked through losing you.

But if I’m being completely honest…

I’d give every lesson back if it meant I could have one more ordinary day with you.

One more cup of tea.

One more walk in Elk Grove park.

One more hug.

One more “I’ll see you later.”

We were supposed to grow old together.

We were supposed to watch our children become adults, spoil our grandkids, argue over silly things, travel, and keep making memories until our hair turned grey.

Instead, I’ve had to learn how to keep living while carrying the biggest hole in my heart.

Damn… what a price to pay.

And yet, if someone asked me if I’d do it all again, knowing how our story would end…

I’d still choose you.

Every single time.

So Happy Anniversary, my love.

Thank you for the life we built, the family we created, and the love that still shapes who I am every single day.

I owe you so much.

In life.

In loss.

And in love.

Always. 🤍