2 days ago
5
2
Posted On: July 23rd 2026, 08:19 am
Some of the habits that stop us being happy didn’t start as bad habits.
They started as survival.
Growing up gay teaches you to read every room before you walk into it. To hide parts of yourself. To expect rejection before acceptance. Those lessons don’t disappear just because you become an adult.
Maybe that’s why we chase unavailable partners. Why we keep people at a distance. Why alcohol or drugs sometimes feel less like a choice and more like a way to finally exhale.
For years I thought I was sabotaging my own happiness.
Now I wonder if my brain was simply trying to protect me.
My latest Substack is about the survival skills many gay men carry long after they no longer need them, and what happens when we finally begin to recognise the difference between surviving and living.
The link is in my bio or below. I’d love to know if any of this resonates with you.
https://open.substack.com/pub/matteberlein/p/the-survival-skills-that-stop-gay?
#GayMen #MentalHealth #Trauma #Relationships #Substack
They started as survival.
Growing up gay teaches you to read every room before you walk into it. To hide parts of yourself. To expect rejection before acceptance. Those lessons don’t disappear just because you become an adult.
Maybe that’s why we chase unavailable partners. Why we keep people at a distance. Why alcohol or drugs sometimes feel less like a choice and more like a way to finally exhale.
For years I thought I was sabotaging my own happiness.
Now I wonder if my brain was simply trying to protect me.
My latest Substack is about the survival skills many gay men carry long after they no longer need them, and what happens when we finally begin to recognise the difference between surviving and living.
The link is in my bio or below. I’d love to know if any of this resonates with you.
https://open.substack.com/pub/matteberlein/p/the-survival-skills-that-stop-gay?
#GayMen #MentalHealth #Trauma #Relationships #Substack
Comments (2)
More posts
