Kayla Walton | Content Strategist

8 years ago, on this day, I laid my father to rest. This was the day my life changed. And I suddenly became a part of the “paste on a smile and pretend it’s okay” club. Since he passed, I’ve found myself navigating through life, exposed, vulnerable, hovering somewhere above my body between reality and a dream.

This is a pain l’ve never felt before. A reoccurring pain.
I didn’t, and still don’t, know how to deal with the fact that you’re gone. I struggled a lot at first. I have had to do a lot of pray and wrestling with God. But God does know how I feel. He lost His only son. And He has made it so clear to me that He loves me more than I can comprehend. This comfort did not come quickly or easily. God put His arms around me and helped my broken heart to heal. He was there all along I just had to open up to Him.

Being open to the presence of the pain of losing my father and acknowledging its inevitability, I can now recognize the value of everything that I’m feeling. Grief isn’t this looming monster trying to escape, rather something you must embrace and learn to live with. Grief is the price one pays for love. I learned that the death of my father was not personal, but this is not God’s purpose for humanity. It can be overwhelming to know that I’ll never see my father physically on earth again. However, his presence is still strong and will always be with me.

This journey hasn’t been easy without you, dad. But I thank God for my friends and family who have been there every step of the way.

Rest well my Angel,
I love you.

You’d probably cuss me out about getting this tattoo 🤣 but you’d also know I never cared lol.

My world 🌍