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cosmopolitanspirits

Experience the whole experience

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Posted On: August 4th 2026, 01:29 am

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@cosmopolitanspirits

cosmopolitanspirits

Experience the whole experience

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Punishments don't work the way you think with ADHD kids. Not because they don't need boundaries — but because their brains process consequences differently than you expect. 💛

The ADHD child is not punishment-proof. They are consequence-delayed. There is a critical, often invisible difference — and understanding it changes everything.

REASON 1 — Time blindness. The ADHD brain operates in two time zones: now and not-now. The future consequence lands in not-now — carrying almost no weight against the impulse of now. The child who knows the consequence will happen again anyway. Not defiance. The consequence lives in a time zone the brain cannot access. ✓ Make it immediate.

REASON 2 — Shame dysregulates. Shame activates the threat system — shutting down the prefrontal cortex, the exact part needed to process the lesson and regulate the next impulse. The shame designed to teach creates the state least capable of learning. Shame does not regulate. Shame dysregulates.

REASON 3 — Working memory drops the lesson. The ADHD child often genuinely does not remember the rule they broke. Working memory holds 2 to 3 items and drops what is not salient. Under pressure, retrieval fails — not a moral failure, a neurological one. ✓ Teach the rule in calm. The brain retains what it rehearses, not what it was punished for.

REASON 4 — Dopamine drives the repeat. A behaviour that provides dopamine is reinforced regardless of punishment. High parental attention — even angry — can reinforce the behaviour it tried to extinguish. ✓ Make the wanted behaviour the dopamine source.

What works: immediate consequence. Specific praise. Logical connection. Repair over punishment.

The child who repairs learns what to do differently. The child who is punished learns what not to do — without the skill to do otherwise.

Boundaries still matter — completely. The method of enforcing them is what changes. 💛

Comment "ADHD" below — I'll send you the book I wrote for parents of children with ADHD. 💛

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#ADHDparenting #ADHDkids #ADHDmom #ADHDbehaviour #neurodivergent #ADHDawareness #ADHDfamily #kidsmentalhealth #ADHDsupport

One more day until opening night at the Hollywood Bowl! 🖤

This is my late grandmother Khoo Chew Neo ( died 97) and mother to my late mom Cik Ani ( died 90).
My late grand mother maternal mother is Ong Joo Neo.
She is the sister to Ong Tian Siew and both of them after i had spoken to Mr Sean Cullum the Co founder of the Ong Clan in Kuching yesrerday.
Sean an Australian had kept records and family tree of the Ong Family or clan said both of them are children to Mr Ong Kwe Hai which is my actual Great Great Grandfather!
He like his son Ong Tian Swee also had his own street in Kuching name after him.
I had to correct this to make sure that i now understand that Ong Tian Swee is my great grand uncle la as his sister Ong Joo Neo is my great grand mother.
No wonder her face look so similar to me and my sister Rosnah or my Brother Rosli di JB tu which too oftened people mistaken him for me.
Amazing how our DNA ini semua lompat sana sini over the generations.
My late great grand mother Ong Joo Neo ini pulak di kawin kan dengan my great grandfather dari keluarga Khoo pulak.
Which produced my Singapore grand mother ( photo above) if u look at the chat she was given away to her sister as its common in a Hokkien family back then to do so.
Mereka pula in Singapore.
Dahulu my Great great grandfather Ong Ewe Hai ni was trading between kuching and Singapore.
He also has a wife ( more a mistress) with 2 kids juga.
Berdagang punya dagang sempat project dan buat hal la pulak.
Jantan dahulu baik sekarang sama sahaja..
So as to not confuse between my great grand uncle Ong Tian Siew ini ( sampai jalan dan sekolah pun ada nana dia dan bapak dia which is my great great grandfather photos stood side by side in the chinese museum of Kuching itu hari ini).

Delnaz ne bola post krne ka . Tou krne ka

Kku-an-kku

👩‍🦯👩‍🦯👩‍🦯

Back pain obliterating foundation training and mobility exercises.

DO THIS EVERY DAY, NO BACK PAIN EVER is the promise of @ericgoodmanft & @foundationtraining

#DailyExercises #BackPain