Justify

Portraits from the Lab offers a heartbreaking glimpse into the psychological and emotional experience of people who have worked in animal research.

One of the ten stories is titled, A Witness and A Bridge, and we hope you’ll take the time to read it in full (link in comments).

Here is an excerpt:

I answered a job posting for an animal care technician at a research facility. I was nineteen, naïve, and in need of money, with no real understanding of what I was walking into.

My job was to clean cages and provide food, water, and daily weights for rodents and rabbits. Over time, I began to notice that my favorite rabbits and rats didn’t return after surgery.

For better pay, I moved to another research facility. This time there were calves, pigs, primates—and eventually, dogs. I played with them, talked to them, and gave them treats. A veterinarian warned me that I was becoming too attached.

Two Coonhounds arrived, and I was assigned their room. After a few days, they settled as much as they could.

Secretly naming them became my way of staying sane.

By the second week, their nightmare began. I won’t describe it, but we all should know the painful and deeply stressful procedures inflicted on animals in the pursuit of human cures.

One morning, I walked into work and saw that one of the dogs was gone. His kennel was empty. The cage cards had been removed. A scientist approached me and said, “You can euthanize the other dog—we won’t be using it.”

I ran to my boss and pleaded to let me adopt the remaining dog. After some back-and-forth, she finally agreed, but only if I took him that day and told no one. I called my dad, begging him to say yes. He did. I put Marley in my truck and brought him home.

When I look back now, shame arrives before grief. I carry the weight of what I witnessed, the eyes of animals I could not save.

I left the field in 2025— finally…and for good.

Marley feels like both a witness and a bridge between who I was and who I’ve chosen to become, and I will forever remember him, and all the animals.

Artwork by @lilia_alfaro.art

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