❀ brennan ❀

turned 22 yesterday. this is me holding the poster to the 2nd film festival i showcased my short film “Untethered” at.

yesterday i sat in my car and wrapped my arms around myself and gave myself a hug. i’ve spent 22 years of my life on earth doing amazing things but 0 of those years recognizing myself for them. i have a bad habit of waiting till other people tell me I did good or that they are proud of me before i recognize anything i’ve done as an accomplishment. i didn’t think my short film was good until i heard a room full of people applaud it (twice). i only thought i could write cause my 5th grade teacher Ms. Taylor said I could and I believed her just because. i only thought i was smart because my family said a’s and b’s were good and i just happened to always get those.

i want to spend 22 differently. i want 22 year old brennan to be able to see her value even in a room where there are no others to tell her it’s there. 22 is emotional regulation and needing a hug but also being the person to give myself the hug i need. 22 is feeling validated without the validation present.

i am 22 now