Will Sterling

These photos always come up in my memories and I’m so glad that as I got a tattoo of The Daemon (the real ones know) as designed by @matt_gilmore he also came to photograph the process. This shot in particular has always been very special, echoing in a way the creation of said monster. As someone who has lived very intentionally to try to be a bright spot in others days and a constant reminder of the importance of love, there is a dark side to my own days that rarely makes itself known. This moment was about 6 months before I got sober and I was very discreetly determined to destroy my life. I don’t know that there was a plan involved, but I remember telling my therapist, “I think I’m waiting for something horrible to happen to force me to stop.” And very wisely he said, “Don’t do that.” But this specific tattoo marked a turning point in starting to do with my body what I wanted, having spent the 15 years prior certain that tattoos would cost me acting jobs. (They didn’t come anyway.) I think the freedom to choose what I wanted to do when it came to my body was paramount in my eventually quitting alcohol and drugs. (Funny how bodily autonomy can have that effect. Maybe there’s a certain argument to be made for one’s right to choose 🤔🤔🤔) Through the process of tattooing and pursuing my career from the perspective of being and becoming who I wanted rather than who I thought others wanted me to be, in many ways, are the essential elements in helping me to acknowledge just how much I don’t think I could be an effective storyteller, comedian, or human without the childhood tragedy that defined me, and set me on a course to finding so much common ground with Mary Shelley’s creation. I had been robbed of a great life very young, and as I grew I assumed it only fair I rob myself of my own life as some perverse means of penance for whatever it was I had done to anger the Gods. But, of course, none of that was true. The powers that be, whatever they may be, do not have it out for us. It’s our responsibility to make the changes in our lives in order to see brighter days.

“I was benevolent and good; misery made me a fiend. Make me happy, and I shall again be virtuous.”