William J Thompson

Holy shit. My daughter is fucking 18.
All right, all right. Birthday post time!!!
Let’s see… feelings? Obviously. Memories? Throw a bunch of those in there. Splash in some life lessons. Definitely some shit I owe you an apology for. A ridiculous amount of me telling you how fucking proud I am of you. Insert something annoying about boys, Sprinkle in something that sounds profound enough to make me look emotionally evolved. Maybe a few tears here and there…
Oh, wait.
We already did all that.
Me and you.
And that’s the part that actually matters.
Sorry, everybody else. That shit is ours. 😂❤️
What you guys do get are some of my favorite pictures of this incredible human being, along with photographic evidence that her father has always been and will continue to be a fucking gorgeous clown.
There really is nothing in this world better than getting to watch you and your brother grow up. Nothing. Well maybe getting cast in a Marvel movie but right after that definitely you two.
I am so fucking proud of you. So happy for you. And somehow, against all known laws of time and despite the fact that I’m clearly not old enough for this shit, you are fucking 18.
Which means you’re officially an adult now.
So sorry to hear that.
You can go out into the world, make questionable decisions and do all the dumb shit young adults have been doing since the beginning of time except now some of those decisions come with actual adult consequences.
Fun!
Welcome * insert dad pointing and laughing here *
Here’s to you, baby woman.
18 fucking years.
You did it. You made it. You earned this next chapter.
Now go fuck some shit up, figure some shit out, laugh your ass off, and enjoy becoming even more of the bad motherfucker than you already are.
I love the absolute shit out of you,
insert secret name here.
Happy fucking birthday.
Make Good Bad Choices. ❤️