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Posted On: September 16th 2026, 07:14 pm
When you think of the F word, what comes to mind? Yeah, me too. Fortitude.
Fortitude doesn’t require climbing Everest or winning a who-can-suffer-more contest. The goal is to grow your capacity without mistaking damage for growth. Somebody will always have it worse. That has never helped anyone get through a Wednesday.
One hard Wednesday, my boss sent me on the clandestine lab course. Hazmat suits, masks, helmets, running up stairs, then solving chemistry problems. I was a drug cop, not a firefighter.
One instructor consistently chose me as his sparring partner for close-quarters self-defense. We were learning takedowns in rooms full of flammable chemicals, where guns and tasers were out.
I’d worked with violent criminals and drug dealers. This instructor’s malice was next level.
Dealers had taught me to recognize a pressure test: push hard and watch whether fear starts making your decisions.
I could have left. I stayed. Not to prove I could take it. I wasn’t sure I could. Leaving would have meant he decided whether I was qualified. So I finished, earning a certificate in something I never wanted.
For years, I thought the strength was that I stayed. It wasn’t. Staying is easy to romanticize afterward. The fortitude was in refusing to hand over the decision. I was afraid to be alone with him, but I refused to let fear make a decision that belonged to me.
You can’t lead well if every provocation takes the wheel. You’ll feel fear, anger, and pain. Fine. Just don’t let them pick what you do next.
Before your next hard Wednesday, take inventory:
1. One thing you’re good at that the situation needs.
2. One person who has your back.
3. One form of support you can access if things go sideways.
You don’t have to go it alone. That three-line inventory is fortitude on purpose.
And yes, I’m writing a book with more stories like this. Stay tuned.
What Drug Dealers Taught Me: leadership, influence, and human behavior from my years in undercover drug enforcement.
Have a great Wednesday.
#WhatDrugDealersTaughtMe #Leadership #Trust #HumanBehavior
Fortitude doesn’t require climbing Everest or winning a who-can-suffer-more contest. The goal is to grow your capacity without mistaking damage for growth. Somebody will always have it worse. That has never helped anyone get through a Wednesday.
One hard Wednesday, my boss sent me on the clandestine lab course. Hazmat suits, masks, helmets, running up stairs, then solving chemistry problems. I was a drug cop, not a firefighter.
One instructor consistently chose me as his sparring partner for close-quarters self-defense. We were learning takedowns in rooms full of flammable chemicals, where guns and tasers were out.
I’d worked with violent criminals and drug dealers. This instructor’s malice was next level.
Dealers had taught me to recognize a pressure test: push hard and watch whether fear starts making your decisions.
I could have left. I stayed. Not to prove I could take it. I wasn’t sure I could. Leaving would have meant he decided whether I was qualified. So I finished, earning a certificate in something I never wanted.
For years, I thought the strength was that I stayed. It wasn’t. Staying is easy to romanticize afterward. The fortitude was in refusing to hand over the decision. I was afraid to be alone with him, but I refused to let fear make a decision that belonged to me.
You can’t lead well if every provocation takes the wheel. You’ll feel fear, anger, and pain. Fine. Just don’t let them pick what you do next.
Before your next hard Wednesday, take inventory:
1. One thing you’re good at that the situation needs.
2. One person who has your back.
3. One form of support you can access if things go sideways.
You don’t have to go it alone. That three-line inventory is fortitude on purpose.
And yes, I’m writing a book with more stories like this. Stay tuned.
What Drug Dealers Taught Me: leadership, influence, and human behavior from my years in undercover drug enforcement.
Have a great Wednesday.
#WhatDrugDealersTaughtMe #Leadership #Trust #HumanBehavior
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