Believe parents when they tell you about what is needed to keep their child alive and safe from harm.
I think all of us who are parents of a child who is/was an eloper are having a lot of heavy feelings after what happened to little Noah Woods, who went missing on Tuesday afternoon and was found the following day, deceased, in a pond not far from where he disappeared 💔
A lot has already been said about it, and I don't know the family nor the exact details of what happened or what Noah was like. But as the mum of a nonspeaking autistic boy who used to be a "runner"/eloper (he's now 19 and - touch wood - not as keen on running off or getting into water, as he used to be), my mind keeps going over what happened to little Noah and what could possibly have stopped it from happening. Or what might help prevent this happening to others families. And I think what it comes down to in essence is:
⚠️ Believe parents when they tell you about what is needed to keep their child alive and safe from harm.
When they say they need a vigilant set of eyes on them at all times, believe them.
When they say they'll run into traffic or the sea without any fear or hesitation...
When they say they can disappear in the blink of an eye, and run so fast it's hard to catch them...
When they say it wouldn't be safe to take them somewhere with only one adult present...
Believe them.
When they say they don't feel it's safe to let you mind their child for them, don't take it as a personal insult. Ask more about why, maybe? And believe them.
When they say their child needs a 1:1 at all times, believe them - and don't leave their child alone for even a few seconds.
When W was little, elopement was big worry, always. What if I'd fall and injure myself, as he ran off? What if I'd have a medical emergency while out with him? He wouldn't be safe on his own, even briefly. Not like a typical child, who'd stay by your side, or come when you call, who can ask strangers for help, tell them your name etc. Unless you've lived with this, it's hard to understand the seriousness, and the extra layers of safety needed.
It's not being paranoid. It's life-saving 🖤
19 days agoedinburgh_lass85
This 🙌 You always advocate so elegantly, I wish I couldn't relate, but sadly been our lives for a long time, Thank god we have a community who get it ❤️ xxx
a month agowild_life_and_me
This 👏😢 T was an eloper and nobody can possibly understand what it is like unless they have experienced it. The single most challenging, exhausting and terrifying thing. To have a child with no safety awareness, non verbal, and that would run as soon as you blink. We were lucky T was found within an hour every time he eloped. My heart breaks for this family 😭
a month agojaxons_journey1
This 🙌 We had 2 instances of Jaxon getting out our garden when he was 3 and could have ended so different. He also jumped in a pond in the middle of winter. Its so scary always trying to be one step ahead. People think I am overprotective because they only see him for snippets of time and say 'he will be fine' but they don't understand that he needs constant supervision to keep him safe so I won't allow him to go with other people. Just because someone is family doesn't mean they are able to meet his needs. We are like this for a reason, believe us! Xx
a month agocelebrating_my_boys_journey
I had my parents as well as my parents in law openly telling us in the past that they don’t feel they could watch Stefan for us. It did hurt so much 😢 And it made me angry. But, in retrospective, knowing their levels of fitness and Stefan’s ability to disappear in split of a second, I am pleased they said that. With other people, I only trust my friend who works with children with additional needs and Stefan’s PA who is a TA in our school. And what other people think about me being “overprotective”, I simply don’t care…x
a month agothehedge_thesea_andme
So heartbreaking. I understand the fear, Boo was would run off and was fond of running into the sea at one point! There were a couple of times that she disappeared, the most frightening was actually a couple of years ago. She was angry about something and out of the house, I went after her but couldn't see her, checked all her favourite places, nothing. I asked a couple of people with cars for help and we started looking further afield. Thankfully she had her phone, she wasn't answering but eventually I got a message saying "I don't know where I am". We are very lucky that she is able to use a phone, she eventually sent to a screenshot of where she was on Google maps and we figured how to find her. She was 5 miles away! She had zoned out and just kept walking until she suddenly realised she was in the pitch black, soaking wet and exhausted (it was at night and stormy). If she hasn't had her phone and been able to use it I don't know how we would have found her
a month agosensationallearningwithpenguin
📷 Photo of me in early 1980, aged 3, wearing a helmet (for ice-skating). I think my dad took the picture, or possibly my granddad.
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