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Posted On: September 18th 2026, 06:46 pm
You can make anyone defensive. It doesn’t matter how mature they are and it doesn’t matter how right you are.
Researchers at Flinders University found that defensiveness isn’t a personality type. It’s what anybody does when their sense of being a good person is under threat. And here’s the part that should bother you: it goes up when the person feels judged or rejected.
Which means the sigh, the look, the “here we go again” isn’t a reaction to their defensiveness. It’s the cause of it.
The fix is order. Let them be a good person somewhere before you tell them where they weren’t.
Researchers at Flinders University found that defensiveness isn’t a personality type. It’s what anybody does when their sense of being a good person is under threat. And here’s the part that should bother you: it goes up when the person feels judged or rejected.
Which means the sigh, the look, the “here we go again” isn’t a reaction to their defensiveness. It’s the cause of it.
The fix is order. Let them be a good person somewhere before you tell them where they weren’t.
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