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@ezra.rlf

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Posted On: September 19th 2026, 09:00 pm

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This is my late grandmother Khoo Chew Neo ( died 97) and mother to my late mom Cik Ani ( died 90).
My late grand mother maternal mother is Ong Joo Neo.
She is the sister to Ong Tian Siew and both of them after i had spoken to Mr Sean Cullum the Co founder of the Ong Clan in Kuching yesrerday.
Sean an Australian had kept records and family tree of the Ong Family or clan said both of them are children to Mr Ong Kwe Hai which is my actual Great Great Grandfather!
He like his son Ong Tian Swee also had his own street in Kuching name after him.
I had to correct this to make sure that i now understand that Ong Tian Swee is my great grand uncle la as his sister Ong Joo Neo is my great grand mother.
No wonder her face look so similar to me and my sister Rosnah or my Brother Rosli di JB tu which too oftened people mistaken him for me.
Amazing how our DNA ini semua lompat sana sini over the generations.
My late great grand mother Ong Joo Neo ini pulak di kawin kan dengan my great grandfather dari keluarga Khoo pulak.
Which produced my Singapore grand mother ( photo above) if u look at the chat she was given away to her sister as its common in a Hokkien family back then to do so.
Mereka pula in Singapore.
Dahulu my Great great grandfather Ong Ewe Hai ni was trading between kuching and Singapore.
He also has a wife ( more a mistress) with 2 kids juga.
Berdagang punya dagang sempat project dan buat hal la pulak.
Jantan dahulu baik sekarang sama sahaja..
So as to not confuse between my great grand uncle Ong Tian Siew ini ( sampai jalan dan sekolah pun ada nana dia dan bapak dia which is my great great grandfather photos stood side by side in the chinese museum of Kuching itu hari ini).

THAT'S 1-1 😤

#RLWC26

Exhibit 4454

This week is Baby Loss Awareness Week and whilst I often feel I have little more to add to the conversation, lately I’ve realised just how much losing a baby continues to take from me, even 20 years later.

In those first weeks and months after losing Joseph, my grief was as you’d expect. Overwhelming sadness, anger that none of it made sense, and desperation to understand how life could go on without him.

What I didn’t know back then was that the more complex layers of grief would only surface much later, in moments I could never have anticipated, when PTSD would rear its ugly head and make already difficult situations a thousand times harder.

When my brother died, that PTSD hit me in full force. Telling my parents they’d lost their child, saying goodbye in the chapel of rest, sitting on the front row at his funeral feeling wave after wave of grief, not just for him, but for Joseph too.

When my lovely Nan died, of course I grieved for someone we loved beyond measure, but also for the loss of another little piece of this earth who had known and loved my boy.

And when my dad became ill this summer, facing a scary diagnosis and a terrifying surgery still to come, I realised that losing Joseph had also taken my ability to truly believe good things can happen, to hope for the best, to trust that everything will be okay. Because once, the very worst thing imaginable happened, and no amount of hoping, wishing or believing could change the outcome.

And that’s the part of baby loss we don’t talk about enough. How it changes you for life. How grief becomes intertwined with every other loss, fear and moment of uncertainty until sometimes it’s impossible to separate one from another.

Perhaps that’s why I feel conflicted that something so devastating, complex and lifelong can be reduced to a pastel coloured ribbon and a flickering candle. Because whilst those gestures have their place, they barely touch the reality of living with the trauma of losing a child.

So this week, I’ll think of my son as I always do. I’ll carry him through every celebration and every heartbreak, just as I have for the last 20 years, and I’ll be thinking of those missing theirs too.

💙

This tattoo artist showcases his artistic talent by inking up On running shoes to celebrate his career tattooing for over a decade 🖊️👟

📸: @nakanecaio

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