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debbie nosa 🌞

@debbieobak

a month ago

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Posted On: September 23rd 2026, 07:00 pm

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@pastaevangelists_academy

pastaevangelists_academy

@lucias_e9

@puffroom.glass.studio

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JOEY AND JANICES DAY OF FUNNNNNNN 🤩👯🏾

@pastaevangelists_academy @pastaevangelists @puffroom.glass.studio @lucias_e9

#ditlvlog #ditl #explorepage

Comments (5)

rebeccastylediary

a month ago

rebeccastylediary

Wow love this

antoniaj956

a month ago

antoniaj956

The best day 🥹 tysm 🫶🏾

miraaa_xox

a month ago

miraaa_xox

You guys are so cute 🥺🎀

isaacallanarem

a month ago

isaacallanarem

🙌🏾🙌🏾

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How do you know who you actually are? ‘Stay true to yourself.’ ‘Be authentic.’ ‘You do you.’ But how do you actually know who that ‘you’ is?

Well, the ancient Greek philosopher Plotinus might give us a solution, because Plotinus is famous for giving us what’s called the ‘negative way,’ or the ‘via negativa.’ And this says that if you want to find or understand something, you should subtract all of the things that are not that thing.

So, for example, if you want to decide what to wear for work, you should subtract all of the things that you don’t want to wear. And the thing that you have left, ideally, is the thing that you have to wear.

So Plotinus asks us to imagine our authentic self as like a statue contained within a block of marble. And the art of finding that statue is about chipping away all of those things you don’t care about. Chip away the things you do for money or for praise, or because you have to. Chip away the chores, the jobs, and the responsibilities. What you are left with is your authentic being, and if you do more of that, you will thrive.

In other words, you need to reduce. Cut out all of the impositions and pressures in life. Cut out all of the have-tos and must-dos. Cut out all of the things that you don’t actually want to do, because what you have left will be you.

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It’s called the mental load for a reason, because it’s truly a load.

There is so much to think about and plan and organize when it comes to running a household and raising kids. No wonder moms are burning out when they are the ones carrying the majority of it.

I choose to believe that there are many men in relationships with women who genuinely think that asking for a list is a normal and logical thing to do.

But it’s not the answer.

Frankly, it just adds more work to the plate of their partners. It’s just another thing to do. It’s another thing to remember.

Let’s stop assuming that every part of managing the household is a woman’s responsibility to begin with, and start having open honest conversations early on about what mental parts of managing the household can be redivided.

What things can you redivide at home? Do you struggle to talk about the mental load?

Comment “Honest Motherhood” and I will send you the link to my memoir where I share my own journey with breaking from carrying too much in motherhood.

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