AK

e.jailani.mma

Is it a blessing to be loved or a curse? Is it privilege to be sought-after or a hoax ? A coaxed methodical approach taming me to a world of obligation it provokes… Is it mercy and compassion leading me, or folks toying with it ..guilt tripping me? it chokes. Consumed from the depths me, I’m driven by loyalty, even then I fall short of grasping their responses, complete and utter jokes… Caught in a web of dos and don’t-s. My days planned for me, there goes my peace in smokes.. Because I can, because I get it done, and I can ….yeah, it aches. Let me breath a sigh of heaven, my moment’s release of always being the one who steps in for the world, and fails her own streaks Choose me not as the golden one, a position I solely affirm and revoke Quite the monotony, let me break free…. Even future fears bind me to a thought of reluctance, it jolts… Wake me never back to moments when I broke… The healer, the one, the go to and everyone’s vote as to who spoke … Oh the agony, caught between privilege and being grateful, but me feeling selfish for constantly being selfless, quite the brain stroke. Let me be kind and giving, without them abusing and over killing Let me feel loved, without feeling drained and regretfully willing… Let me have my moment of peace without disturbance, and the constant interfering… Come to me with completion, not recommencing a storyline, I refuse and keep fearing. Some I cut off even in the beginning…. If I got you, grab me If I come to you hear me If I give you, get me Drain me not, my energy now is reserved for me only and the one that protects and comforts me…..Love always and cherish those that give, because their loss is felt dearly… for them it’s breaking away and living freely, for others it’s a lifelong pain and pure agony.