Dj Evaloution- Disc Jockey Extraordinaire

(The stage lights dim. The audience leans forward, whispering. MAURY sits across from KEISHA, who is shaking her head, and DEANDRE, who is slouching in his chair with his arms crossed.)

MAURY:
Keisha, you brought Deandre here today because you claim he is the biggest hater in your life. You said he rolls his eyes at your new outfits, mutes your stories, and secretly prays on your downfall.

KEISHA:
(Yelling over the audience oohs)

He does, Maury! He’s a certified hater! When I got my promotion, all he said was, “Oh, nice, more taxes.” Who says that?! He is drowning in shade, Maury!

MAURY:
Deandre, you took a polygraph test. You claim you actually love seeing her succeed and that your face just looks like that.

DEANDRE:
(Shrugging)

I’m just realistic, Maury. I ain’t hating. I’m her biggest fan.

MAURY:
(Reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out the manila envelope. The audience gasps. A dramatic heartbeat sound effect echoes through the studio.)

Deandre... you were asked if you secretly despised Keisha’s new clothing line. You said no.
Keisha, you swore he was a hater.

(Maury slowly pulls the paper out of the envelope and looks up, holding dramatic eye contact with the camera.)

MAURY:
When it comes to Keisha’s success... the lie detector has determined you are NOT a hater.

(The studio explodes into chaos. Deandre immediately jumps up, throws his hands in the air, and begins doing a chaotic victory dance across the stage. He runs to the camera, points at it, and screams.)

DEANDRE:
I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU!

(Keisha bursts into tears, covers her face, and runs off the stage into the backstage hallways. The cameraman chases her, tripping over wires, as she cries past a wall of vending machines.)

MAURY:
(Walking backstage with a microphone)
Keisha? Keisha, talk to me. He’s not a hater, Keisha.