᥇ꪶꪖ𝓲ꪀꫀ シ

the post no one asked for - since Belle will be here soon, I wanted to post the 9 most important things I learned since becoming a father.

1. God doesn’t take away that of which is right for you. That job, friend, death, home. He didn’t take that away because he’s mad or upset with you. The pain now will be the very oil of anointing in the rooms you’ll walk in someday. Nothing you’ve even gone through is wasted with Jesus.

2. Your mom really did do her best. Being a mother and a father is a weight she was never meant to carry.

3. Becoming sober is cool. Staying sober when you feel like you’re at your lowest is even cooler.

4. Your kids don’t have to grow up as quickly as you did.

5. Your parents and grandparents are getting older, & who you married will matter more than it ever has. Love your wife like she’s all you got, because one day she will be.

6. Shut up when music is playing. In a real way because golly stop talking, but also in a more sentimental way. I’ve gotten a side job being an accompanist, so I’ve been having to dive into music I normally wouldn’t turn on. & shutting up and hearing what an artist is saying even if it’s conveyed in a genre you don’t care for is a superpower that not many want, but I think everyone needs.

7. Your goal should’ve always been a crowded living room, not an overflowing inbox.

8. My son doesn’t know his dad is still trying to learn how to be a father, grieve relationships, morn past opportunities or career paths, or be a husband worth following. He just knows how to be 1, even if he tells you otherwise.

9. You spent a whole lot of this last season watching your wife go through something you’ll never quite understand. You’ll see how exhausted she is. You’ll see how much her life has changed. Don’t become emotionally vacant trying to carry everything you can to “do your part.” You’re both exhausted. Love her even more. & don’t forget all those nights you prayed for a full plate. Lean into the tough times, & let the people around you help you keep your balance. Being tough isn’t seclusion, it’s the ability to know when to grab someone’s arm and say you need help.